Setting boundaries is very important when it comes to parenting. In a permissive environment, kids rebel. They rebel because they feel anger and hatred toward their parents for a lack of guidelines and limit setting. My mum set boundaries with my siblings and I at a very young age. A very important way to show your children love is to have clear, defined limitations for them. Your kids want guidelines for their lives that are reliably enforced. You are the one who creates a safe environment for them.
Setting boundaries is an important piece of parenting. It doesn’t mean they won’t push your boundaries, they will. It is a part of their learning process and they may even be upset when you uphold certain boundaries, but they will also feel safe and secure at the same time. Here are ways to establish clear boundaries for your kids.
Your kids need to know that they can count on you. When you fail to back up your words with action your words will cease to mean anything. Your discipline and boundary setting will become hollow.
Miscommunication is not the way to establish a positive environment. Effective communication is necessary. Ask them to repeat back to you what they heard you say to verify it’s understood. It pays to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Have a family meeting. Family communication gets everyone involved in setting the boundaries. When children share ownership of the rules, they’re more invested.
4. Draw up a “rule-list” and post them in a conspicuous place
Once the “Family Ten-Commandments” have been established, write up a document that everyone will sign. Post copies of the contract in the kitchen and in each bedroom. Remember, these are not restrictions so much as rules to live by.
5. Avoid labeling children as “good” and “bad
Children—and adults—behave in ways that are acceptable and in ways that are unacceptable. Labeling a child as “bad” will do little to improve behavior and a lot to create a negative self-image.
6. Employ “natural consequences” when possible
When raising teenagers, natural consequences just make more sense. For younger children, this helps associate negative outcomes with specific behavior.
If a room is not cleaned as instructed, missing a fun activity while cleaning the room is less a punishment and more of a consequence. Inappropriate talk? Instead of a spanking try having the child look up ten appropriate words in the dictionary and copy them all down, including definitions, etymology (origin of the word), etc.