In Nigeria, marriage is very sacred. Elders in the family advise us, “Get married, and you will have a lifetime companion to share your joys, secrets, pains and woes,” But what if that very companion is a reason for our loneliness? What if your marriage leaves you with nobody to share your life? For many, this may be just a myth, but for some, this is the reality.
I was traveling to Akure one day with a couple, Lanre and Chioma. To say the journey was awkward is to say the least. I felt very uncomfortable. She knew the three-hour journey would be boring, and so was it. She and her husband reached the destination without a single word being spoken between them. While Jane sank into her phone, her husband stuck his eyes on the road. And their thoughts? Each one’s in a different way.
I could tell their marriage was very lonely. How do you then avoid loneliness in marriage? If you don’t want to be in their shoes, you need not have to wait for the early signals of loneliness. Learn from others mistakes. Make sure you are not falling into the trap of monotony. Make a conscious effort to keep the atmosphere at home lively.
Communication is the panacea for all ills in a marriage. Talk to each other as often as possible. You need not have to search for a topic. Talk randomly and share your experiences of that day. Discuss the day’s news or converse about a topic that is of common interest to you both. Approach them from his perspective. That keeps the atmosphere at home lively.
Watch your wedding video or your honeymoon photos. Talk about your courtship days and all the romantic outings you both went together. The naughty or silly things you secretly did without the knowledge of your family and friends. That will make you both laugh together. The couple that laughs together stays together!
3. Do small favors for each other.
Is he struggling with his necktie? Help him do it. Is he a foodie? Prepare a delicious breakfast for him. Is he stressed out at work? Help him come out of his bad mood. This will make him look up to you. He knows he can come to you for any help or with any problem. You will be his first destination in distress.
4. Understand his point of view.
It is not always necessary to look at things your way. Your husband could have a different opinion. You may be irritated with your mother-in-law’s interference in a party that you have organized for your husband. But he wouldn’t agree with you. Interference for you, would be love and affection for him. Stop judging! To comprehend your partner’s viewpoint, take a couple of minutes to think.
And if you thought that the above steps would help you avoid only loneliness, no. They will also help you avoid all the illnesses you get due to loneliness in a marriage.