Stared blankly into my eyes trying to understand the fact that whatever decisions I made would have a lasting effect. When going into a new relationship just before I headed out, I begin to examine my values, morals and principles.
What do I believe in? What should believe in? What is most important to me? What should be most important in my relationship? Can this lead to marriage? Never been married before so I could not answer the question of what would be the most important to me in it but I knew I needed passion.
As far back as I can remember, relationships have been my thing, although I never quite excelled at them, but how fascinating is that? Trying to understand the needs of whomever I was dating proved to be a hurdle and being as short as I am, never bothered to jump.
At almost every point in my past relationships, I have been embattled with the choice to seek what I believe to be right in every situation. Giving the chance to determine never made it easier but running when been weighed down was my lucky charm bracelet, and growing older never made it easier.
Back to my mirror conversation, torn between a guy I love and my personal beliefs. It was going great but the next level is always expected. The questions before me were love, sex, religion and trust; and from that moment it became a “toss what you do not need out the window”. Thankfully I learnt a thing or two from economics, “Needs & Wants,” so easy right, determine which falls where.
Dice rolls, it falls on Religion- this stands as a need and want that I could not do without. The dice roll again, falls on Sex-tossed out of the window because it was more a “Want than a Need.” Here we go, dice been rolled, lands on Trust- that was my jackpot point.
The true essence of survival is trust, being that it leads to every other thing. I could never be in a relationship or even marriage without trust because when everything else fails I want to be able to depend on my partner as my rock.
No matter how much you love me, or are great in bed or even have the same religion as I, if there is no TRUST, there is no US.