You love your parents, but sometimes getting along with them feels impossible. What can you do about it? It’s understandable how trouble at home can creep into every area of life! When there’s friction between a child and her parents, usually both sides need to make some adjustments.
There is need to have to focus on what you can do on your end to keep the tension in perspective and spread peace at home. Hopefully as you make adjustments, they will, too. You can’t control how your parents respond especially in our continent. It’s almost seen as an abomination to correct your parents.
Family fights can be hard to untangle because each of you brings your own set of ideas, perceptions, expectations, and baggage to the table.
Then you throw in
1) teenage hormones (and sometimes menopause for myms, which is like the reverse of teenage hormones but just as intense),
2) spending a LOT of time together, and
3) you becoming an independent person. When you throw all those volatile things together, it’s not surprising that a whole lot of misunderstandings go on within the walls of a house!
Because there are so many factors that go into family drama, here are five tips that will get you started in a positive direction:
- Keep the goal in mind.
They are your family; whether you like it or not. There is no better place than family life to practice the super hard-to-learn characteristics of selflessness, forgiveness, patience, and genuine love. If you can’t get along with your own blood, who would you now get along with?
- Remember your parents are people, too.
Sometimes we forget that the people living under our roof are actual people, too—men and women with likes, dislikes, dreams, strengths, and expectations. And they are people who have sacrificed a lot to love us and take care of us! It can be so hard to see past how things affect us, but we gain a whole new appreciation for them when we take the time to really get to know our parents—who they are now and who they were before we came into the picture.
- Remember your parents have weaknesses, too.
Your parents aren’t perfect. But sometimes we act like they should be. We forget that they have feelings (which can get hurt), a limited supply of patience (which we love to test), and baggage from their past (their parents weren’t perfect either). If we want them to be patient with our less-than-stellar moments, we need to offer them the same grace.
- Communicate like an adult.
It’s okay to disagree with your parents, but you’ll get a lot farther with them if you communicate your frustrations with a level head and calm voice. Most teenagers are masters at the eye-roll, shoulder-slump, edgy reply, and huff and stuff. If you want a good relationship with your parents, you been to put that behind and behave like an adult.
- Check your attitude.
Parents sense disrespect like a girl senses a cute guy is flirting with her—it only takes a little for some big emotions to come into play! So take an honest look at your attitude toward your parents. If you disrespect them in your heart, the truth will leak out one way or another. You could even ask friends to help you truly change your heart toward them so that what flows out of your lips and body language will promote peace and show love.
One last encouragement here is that you should never give up! It’ll take a while before everything falls into place, but it’ll all be worth it in the end.