One of the primary tasks of early childhood is to develop self-discipline. One of the primary tasks of parenthood is teaching self-control. Most children, young children, in particular, are by nature impulsive. Part of the solution for impulse control is self-discipline. A child armed with self-control and self-discipline has a tremendous advantage in addressing life’s challenges. So many relational and personal problems can be avoided when one has self-control. Here are 7 ways to teach self-control to your children.
A strong mum-daughter bond is not a given! Just like every relationship the mother daughter relationship is vulnerable. So many things can come between a mum and her daughter; Personality, temperaments, experiences–all of these can affect your relationship with your daughter. And because of these variables, mothers have to work harder at having a good relationship with their daughters. My girls are adults now. As hard as some of the seasons we went through in our relationships were, I am so thankful that we worked to maintain our mom-daughter bond. As mums, you have m the opportunity to teach your girls how to grow up in this world—to be their guide, confidant, and friend for life. To do that you must maintain a connection even in difficult seasons of your relationship. So, how do you build that bond if you don’t have a natural connection? Or, how can you strengthen it if you’ve already got a bond? There are a few things you can try to do;
Raising responsible and productive children can seem like an uphill battle in today’s world. Kids are exposed to technology that provides instant gratification in most areas of their lives. It takes a concerted effort to make kids responsible and productive when it comes to chores, homework, and other responsibilities. Here are a few ways to make your kids responsible and productive. Teach Problem-Solving Skills Children aren’t born knowing how to solve problems. Many kids give up without trying or think there’s only one way to solve a problem. Teach your child that solving a problem can take multiple efforts. Play games that teach your child how to solve problems. Give your child puzzles to solve and play games that encourage creative thinking. Give your child a task and ask him to come up with at least five ways to solve the problem. See how many creative solutions he can come up with and discuss the many solutions to the problem. Assign Chores Assign chores to your child to help them behave responsibly. Even young children can perform simple tasks, such as putting their dishes in the sink. Older children should be given daily chores and over time, they should require less reminders to get their chores done. Avoid nagging your child to get their chores done. If you nag your kids, they’re less likely to take responsibility to remember what they have to get done. Instead, provide consequences if they don’t complete their chores on time. Motivate Your Child with Rewards Give your child rewards for a job well done. Just like adults receive a salaries for showing up to work and doing their job, kids should earn some sort of reward for doing their jobs as well. Provide your child with an allowance for completing their chores. Create rules about how much of their money they can spend and how much needs to be saved so you can teach your child to be responsible with money. Establish a Schedule Create a schedule that will help your child to be productive. Help your child set aside time to do their school work, finish their chores, and complete their daily tasks. Teach your child to get their work done before playing. When kids understand that they can have free time to play outside or use their electronics once their work is done, they are much more motivated to be productive. Set Time Limits on Gadgets Help your child establish healthy habits by setting time limits on electronics. Usually two hours of screen time, including TV, video games, and computer games, is plenty. Encourage your child to have other interests and activities that don’t involve electronics. Well-rounded kids are likely to participate in sports, clubs, and other activities that keep them too busy to be glued to the TV. Provide Consequences When Necessary Provide a consequence when your child doesn’t behave responsibly. When you give them a consequence, it will help them learn from their mistakes. Sometimes natural consequences are enough to teach your child a lesson. If your child doesn’t get their homework done, receiving a zero might be consequence enough for them. However, sometimes, additional consequences need to be imposed. Consider taking away extra privileges, such as electronics, until your child is able to show that they can behave responsibly again. Make it clear what they needs to do to get their privileges restored.
Happiness is relative. For a 70 year old woman, the ultimate moment of joy might be meeting her grandchildren after a while. A middle-aged man may associate happiness with getting a promotion at work or a business success. Thanks to media’s growing role in consumerism and commercialism, kids these days find happiness in material objects like the latest gadgets and expensive toys. Sometimes in an attempt to fuel this “happiness”, parents tend to go overboard and overindulgent with their children. This especially happens when they attempt to overcompensate for the time they’ve not been able to spend with their little ones. Sure, this will give a child a sense of momentary thrill and delight, but it can also result in a lifetime of harm if parents don’t know where to draw the line. Overindulgent parents are those who offer their kids “Too Much Stuff: Materialism and activities, Over-nurturing: Too much assistance reducing self-reliance, and Soft Structure: Little rules, no chores, aimless.” Here are 6 useful tips for parents to stop overindulging their kids: Being Assertive – A common mistake parents make is easily giving in to their child’s bad behavior to avoid unrest and maintain peace. What they fail to realize that catering to unreasonable demands of their child in pursuit of absolute calmness can go a long way in shaping up the child’s obstinate personality. A child who always gets his way will grow up with a mindset that things will always work as per his whims and fancies. Not only will this attitude impact his relationship with people around him but will also turn him into a spoilt brat. Lack of disciple at home can make kids disregard school rules, shun away responsibility and show little respect towards adults. It is important for parents to learn to say “no” and be firm with their kids when the situation demands. Setting Behavioral Expectations – Setting boundaries with respect to their kid’s behavior is the most essential practice that parents should follow. It is important to ingrain the basics of acceptable versus unacceptable behavioral traits in kids. For example, kids must be taught that it is unacceptable for them to throw a tantrum because of a toy at a mall whereas politely requesting parents is the right thing to do. Similarly, it is wrong on the part of kids to be rude and to snap back at parents when they voice their concerns or opinions. Allocating A Monthly Budget – Parents must avoid shelling out money each time their child demands something. They should instead introduce the concept of monthly allowance that will not only help their children understand the value of money but will also teach them the good habit of saving from an early age. Setting A Routine – These days children are so enamored and over-consumed by modern day technology that they often disregard important things in life such as education, a healthy lifestyle and family values. Parents must set a strict routine for their kids to follow with fixed timings allotted to important activities like playing outdoors, studying, cleaning their room and sleeping. Without a proper routine kids can get carried away doing things only to suit their liking. Too much time spent watching TV or playing video games can not only hamper a child’s cognitive development and eyesight, but can also lead to other health problems like obesity. Appreciating Good Behavior – While it is essential for parents to reprimand their kids if they misbehave, it is equally important to appreciate them if they display good behavior. A word or two of encouragement helps reinforce positive actions in kids. It also helps kids realize that parents are their well-wishers and are on their side; they aren’t always set out to demean and prove kids wrong! Laying Importance On Family Bonding – Parents must teach their kids the importance of valuing relationships more than material pleasures. Instead of showering kids with pricey gifts regularly, parents should rather shower them with love and affection. Activities like picnics, board games and adventure sports should be regular happenings in families that want to strengthen the bond they share. It’s true that parents want nothing but the best for their kids, but at times, in pursuit of offering the best, parents tend to spoil their kids. It’s not wrong for parents to pamper their kids, but the key lies in striking the right balance between discipline and gratification. So, for the sake of your children, stop overindulging them. Instead, teach them the difference between a need and a want, and then make them work for their wants. For instance, rather than buying that new video game for your children, give them two options: Tell them they can place it on a wish list for a birthday or Christmas present, or they can do extra duties to earn the money to buy it themselves. If your children are willing to work for their “heart’s desire,” they’ll take better care of it, be more grateful for it, and think long and hard before turning a “want” into a “need” in the future.
Nowadays many parents often complain that their kids sleep very late in the nights. Making the kids go to bed early is what every parent wish but how hard they try their dream doesn't come true. We all are familiar with the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise". Though its sounds very much easier, its often "hard" to follow even with adults. Hence, in the case of children its much more "harder". Here are a few reasons why a kid may not be able to sleep early like Insomnia, afternoon Sleep, late night TV Watching, Ill Health, noisy surroundings, over exhaustion, and nightmares. Here are few tips that would definitely work and help the kids to go to bed early:
Parents often wonder how important it is to teach good table manners to kids. In fact most of the parents assume that kids would learn table manners by themselves as they grow up. But this assumption is completely wrong as it is not possible for the kids to learn table manners by themselves. The truth is if the kids are not taught table manners at the right age then kids make it a habit of practicing the same manners that they have been acting till date and don't consider learning or revising them at all. Hence, it is definitely important that kids learn good table manners at the right age and that too from their parents. Learning table manners is not at all that difficult for kids if they start learning them right from the age they learn to eat on their own. Slow and steady practice makes them perfect and they easily learn the table manners. Here are some particular table manners all parents must teach their kids;
Having friends especially good ones is very important and part of growing up and life. It is a common complaint from parents that their children do not have many. Parents can really help children make good friends. It is very important for children to meet other kids and make friendships. This helps in developing confidence in them and also boosts their self esteem. But some or the other way, it may not be possible for every kid to make new friends. So instead of disheartening, parents may take few efforts to help their child make new friends. This article helps parents to learn how. We see many children around us who have an in-built quality to make friends. Such kids can easily make friends anywhere, in school, gardens and near their house. Such kids have a knack of talking their way to new friendship. This quality comes very easily in some kids and they never have problem in making new friendships. These kids also have in-built social skils that help them get well in crowds and make friendship with new kids around them even in social functions or new places. But that is not the case with every kid around us. Only few of them can manage to show such skills. But there are many kids who are shy and overall reluctant to make new friends. Such kids find it difficult to make new friends or talk to new kids. They overall turn out to be shy and loner and thus stay away from everyone. Now if this is how your kid behaves and stays away from making friends, it's definitely a matter of concern. For such kids if can't make friends at their early age then they grow up as loners and keep it to themselves. Hence parents need to put some efforts by which they may be able to help their kids in such situations. Parents can help their kids make new friends by trying their best thus to help out and encourage their child to come out of their shell. The kids who can easily and successfully make new friendships always adapt to new surroundings. But that is not the case with loners, who find it difficult to make new friendships. Problems arise when a family plans to shift to a new location. The loner kid hardly has made any friends after some time in his earlier location where he stayed. Now leaving these few friends of his and shifting to a new location may get more difficult for the kid as he may require lot more time to adapt to the new surroundings. Such kids find it very difficult to talk to their neighborhood kids and usually get lonelier. This condition of kids makes parents face guilt for making their child go through this. But instead of facing guilt, what actually parents can do is help their child get into new friendships and thus handle the situation in a better way. Follow these tips to ensure your kids have the best category of friends;
Ever felt your child is nervous in the presence of other people ? There may be many reasons for the unsocial behaviour observed in children. Yet, the most obvious reason being noticed among many kids is none other than "Lack of self esteem". If easily ignored, children will eventually become an introvert in this "exclusively-for-smart-people" world. How can you develop self esteem in your child? - Let the child be part of making rules at home. That will make them feel good and thus they will find it interesting and will try more to live by the rules. - Let the child feel he is important. Let the child participate in making decisions on what grocery to buy or what to cook today. - Each child is important and have different skills. If your child feels inferior to someone else, talk about some other field in which your child is better than others. - Do not compare your child with other children. - Set goals which can be achieved. Appreciate when they achieve the goals. Help them achieve the goal if they feel difficulty. - Show them that you are interested in what they do. Never make fun of their work, even if you feel it is not great. Your child should never feel shy to show you what they did. - Avoid praising the child, but appreciate the good "thing" they did. It is better to say "I like the way you helped us clean the house", rather than saying "you are smart". - Give responsibilities to the child. Even if it is easier to do things yourself, let your child do tasks appropriate for his age. Let him do mistakes and learn from the them. Do not interfere at each stage of the work. Let the child make choices and take decisions. Interfere with his work only when he is doing something destructive or dangerous. - If your child feels he can't do something that is appropriate for his age, do not do it for him. Instead, let him try it several times until he succeed. That will make him proud. - Listen your child. When your child is talking, stop everything else you are doing and focus on what he need to share with you. That will make him feel he is important. - Make your child respect others. When your child compare himself with others, let him know that he is good at something and the other child could be important at something else. Let him learn everybody is important. - Teach your child to be helpful. Children at each age can do something at home like making beds, bringing cloths to the washing machine, arranging books in the shelf etc. By taking his help, you are teaching him responsibilities, as well as making him feel he is important and useful in the family. These methods are sure shots to bloom self esteem and self dignity in children thus making them confident about themselves.Let your child face the world with all the dignity making you proud about them.
Exam for third term are close by. Have you ever witnessed a child going completely blank during examinations or falling sick as soon as the examination days come close by? If yes then your child definitely has excessive exam fear which can be a reason for all these sickness or blank memory. In many children it has been observed that the word exam brings a severe fright in them. As soon as exam dates come closer, these children complain about sickness like stomachaches, fever, vomiting, nausea and much more. Other than sickness few child may also complain about complete memory erase and thus going blank during examination. Thus the onsets of exams and scary thoughts as well as fears within few children walk parallel in life. Such children succumb to the pressure of the exam fear and fall sick or go blank during exams. This fear is more in terms of unnecessary pressure and demands from parents for which children have to face the brunt. In most of the cases parents are known to be responsible for such exam fear in children as they demand too much from them in terms of marks and grades. When it comes to confident children who learn or master to handle such exam fear such pressures don't bother them. But for children who are weak and not very confident about their performances may find it too much to handle. The exam fear however is not experienced by each and every child. Few kids are known to absorb and perform well even within the pressure. But for those who get a bit anxious about the onset of exams and the feeling of standing up to their parents demand may be the victims of exam fear. There are many causes which may be the reason for exam fear in children. Few of these include: - When a child is pressurized by parents for good grades. - When too much expected from a child in terms of performance and achievements by the school, parents or teachers. - When the child himself or herself has too many expectations - When a child suffers from low self esteem or confidence - When a child fears about not been able to score like his classmates - When a child has failed considerably in his earlier exams. - When a child has scored poorly and fears for the same to happen in the coming exams - When a child is not prepared or revised well for the oncoming exams - When the child is scared of the remarks and scolding he may get for his performance When a child experiences exam fear, he is not going to come and speak about it to his parents. But parents should themselves observe those symptoms within children repeatedly whenever exam dates come closer. Few of the symptoms of exam fear that parents can look out for include: Blank memory, severe anxiety, inability to fall asleep, nervousness, frequent urination, exhaustion, stomach aches, irritable bowels, loss of hunger, headaches, lowering of blood pressure, nausea or sickness, body aches, fever, cramps in hands and legs, shivering of hands, unconsciousness etc Once you learn about the symptoms and causes of exam fear, you are aware of what is exactly happening with your child. If you find the same symptoms of exam fear within your child you need to help him out by overcoming this exam fear. Here's how you can do this: Play a role of good parent Carrying out a role of good parent plays a major role in helping your child overcome the exam fear. Once you read the above mentioned causes and analyze that it is the parent's pressure or expectations that are responsible for the exam fear in your child, then drive out that pressure from your child's mind. Support your child and remind him that he has been working hard and would definitely achieve success, other than pressurizing him over not achieving. Don't compare his achievements with others, instead allow him to focus on his own studies and support him well with advice and help with the exam preparation. Once a child finds out that his parents are happy with his performance, he will relax and the exam fear or pressure will be released immediately. Preparation is an important element that beats exam fear If a child is prepared well, then nothing can beat him from scoring well in exams. Once a child is prepared thoroughly for the examination, the exam fear has no place to make home within the child's mind. Always remind your child that "Failure comes to only those who aren't prepared well". Hence parents should help their children with proper preparation and revision of the exam syllabus thus preparing well for their exams. Provide a calm and soothing study atmosphere for your child Allow your child to study in a calm and relaxed atmosphere, where there is no pressure, disturbance and noise. In such atmosphere a child learns and revises well, thus preparing to beat him exam fear. See that your child is well fed and relaxed before studying A good balanced diet and proper sleep is one of the known factors for beating exam fear. Whenever a child prepares to study or revise, ensure that he had a good meal and proper sleep. Exhaustion may work as a hindrance between your child and his exam preparation. Help your child to understand his studies better than by-heart everything If your child has to by-heart each and every answer within his studies, then this indicates that your child has failed to understand the topics covered within his studies. Help your child with proper explanation and understanding of the concepts and only to by-heart the essentials like formulas, poems, phrases other than by-heart everything. Even though a child has to attend his exams and hence he is preparing himself by studying and revising the topics, parents should ensure that their child does not get hooked to his books all the time. Instead suggest him to take some time off by engaging himself in certain stress buster activities such as listening to music, spending time with family, playing for a while with friends, going for a walk, and few more such things.