Practical ways to Teach Self-Control to Children

One of the primary tasks of early childhood is to develop self-discipline. One of the primary tasks of parenthood is teaching self-control. Most children, young children, in particular, are by nature impulsive. Part of the solution for impulse control is self-discipline. A child armed with self-control and self-discipline has a tremendous advantage in addressing life’s challenges. So many relational and personal problems can be avoided when one has self-control. Here are 7 ways to teach self-control to your children.

  1. Teach children to come when they are called
When a parent calls a child, that child shouldn’t yell, “What?” from the room. Children can learn to come to the parent, within a few feet, in order to have a dialog with the parent. This helps children learn that self-control sometimes means that we must give up what we would like to be doing in order to do something else. shutterstock_110930789-800x430
  1. Teach children to respond positively to correction.
Most children don’t like to be corrected and respond negatively in either aggressive (anger) or passive (bad attitude) ways. This is unacceptable and becomes an excellent opportunity to teach self-discipline. One of the facts of life is that people often must follow directions which may not be their preference. Teach children to respond with a good attitude as well as right behavior. This requires self-control and helps children learn to control their impulses. A good response to correction is sometimes difficult to learn but work in this area will help a child develop a skill which will help them forever.
  1. A number of social skills require self-control.
Praise children when they demonstrate this quality and point out areas they need to work on. Listening, knowing when and how to interrupt, anger control, reporting back after completing a task—all require self-discipline.
  1. Encourage children to take on activities which build self-discipline. They may include sports, learning to play a music instrument, the responsibility of caring for a pet, memorization of scripture, a clean room, or a host of other activities.
  1. When a child receives a reward like payment for a job accomplished or even a star on a chart or special treat, talk about self-discipline.
External rewards give a great opportunity to talk about internal rewards.The real benefit to a paper route is not the money, it’s the building of self-discipline. You are pretty determined and responsible to get up every morning. That shows self-discipline. 4-disciplining-children-450a032108
  1. Use bed times to teach self-discipline.
Some children have a hard time going to bed without creating a battle and this becomes a great opportunity to teach self-discipline to children. After all, it requires a lot of self-control for a child to stay quietly in bed while parents are still awake. Set a bedtime, develop a routine which covers all the necessary bedtime tasks and work at getting your child to stay in bed without mom or dad falling asleep in the room. This requires work on the part of the parent but will pay off tremendous dividends in the end.
  1. Morning routines, chores, and family schedules become opportunities for children to learn responsibility and self-discipline.
Responsibility is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. The rewards for being responsible are called privileges. The child who is responsible to get ready and be at breakfast by 7:30 a.m. is allowed the privilege of staying up until their 8:00 p.m. bedtime. Being able to choose one’s clothes is the privilege for getting dressed before the deadline. Simple benefits of life are seen as privileges associated with basic responsibility. Some parents try to give their children an easier life than they had or they try to make their children feel good at the expense of good character. Unfortunately, this often translates into more freedom and less self-control. A wise parent will use childhood to prepare a child for success as an adult. Self-discipline is one of the most important character qualities a child can develop. Ironically, spoiled children are not happy; self-disciplined children often are! Self-discipline is a primary quality that will help children be successful in life. What’s the best way you’ve come up with to teach your children self-discipline?

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Building a strong mother-daughter bond

A strong mum-daughter bond is not a given! Just like every relationship the mother daughter relationship is vulnerable. So many things can come between a mum and her daughter; Personality, temperaments, experiences–all of these can affect your relationship with your daughter. And because of these variables, mothers have to work harder at having a good relationship with their daughters. My girls are adults now. As hard as some of the seasons we went through in our relationships were, I am so thankful that we worked to maintain our mom-daughter bond. 2a (27) As mums, you have m the opportunity to teach your girls how to grow up in this world—to be their guide, confidant, and friend for life. To do that you must maintain a connection even in difficult seasons of your relationship. So, how do you build that bond if you don’t have a natural connection? Or, how can you strengthen it if you’ve already got a bond? There are a few things you can try to do;

  1. Let her talk, love to listen…
We’ve all heard the statistics about how many more words women speak per day than men. Our girls are women in the making so we should not be surprised when they talk—a lot. Women are natural verbal communicators. Carve out time to spend with your daughter when there aren’t distractions and you can really listen. Bedtime is a great moment for this with younger girls because they really don’t want to go to bed and will happily chat. With your older girls,learn to follow them to their room every time they walked in the door from school, from no matter how late it is. Try it and you'll see that lots of information would tumble out. Ask some open-ended questions, and then listen. Resist the urge to rush in to give advice. Just enjoy hearing her heart about whatever is bubbling to the top. 1 (20)
  1. Learn what she loves and learn to love it too
What makes your daughter tick? Is it dance? Movies? Cooking? Do what she loves to do together with her. It's a great way to bond.
  1. Don’t react to any “drama”
As mentioned in the first point, you ahouldn’t be surprised at the statistics that women generally talk more than men do. And much to the first point, as you are listening to her spill her heart out to you, control your reactions to whatever she says. She is bound to say something that is dramatic or inflated, and your motherly instincts will kick in to correct or protect her. But that response has the potential of shutting her down from opening up again—she might be scared to say something wrong or offensive. Ask questions instead.  
  1. Teach her what you know…
Your life might look exactly like what your daughter wants to grow up to be, or perhaps it is far from it. It isn’t the washing the dishes or folding the laundry that she needs you to teach her (although, those are helpful things for her to know while she’s still at home!), but she needs you to teach her things that speak to her character. Things such as perseverance, faith, and integrity are essential traits that she will need to enter into the world. Equip her with as much as you know, and she will desire your opinion when she’s out of the house.
  1. Talk to her about her relationships…
Why is it that girls have such a difficult time with friendships growing up? It’s no secret that girls can be catty, jealous, and downright competitive with one another—and for no good reason. She needs you to show her what a good female to female relationship looks like. How do you communicate with your friends? Does your daughter feel comfortable around her friends? Or is she altering her personality to fit what she thinks they want her to be? But most importantly, model a healthy marriage relationship with your husband to show her what a real life marriage looks like. She will be watching for one day when she finds herself in the same position!


How To Make Your Kids Responsible And Productive

Raising responsible and productive children can seem like an uphill battle in today’s world. Kids are exposed to technology that provides instant gratification in most areas of their lives. It takes a concerted effort to make kids responsible and productive when it comes to chores, homework, and other responsibilities. Here are a few ways to make your kids responsible and productive. Teach Problem-Solving Skills Children aren’t born knowing how to solve problems. Many kids give up without trying or think there’s only one way to solve a problem. Teach your child that solving a problem can take multiple efforts. Play games that teach your child how to solve problems. Give your child puzzles to solve and play games that encourage creative thinking. Give your child a task and ask him to come up with at least five ways to solve the problem. See how many creative solutions he can come up with and discuss the many solutions to the problem. dfc06b0c-492a-4989-9306-64681f900d38-3136-000005f878bc1450 Assign Chores Assign chores to your child to help them behave responsibly. Even young children can perform simple tasks, such as putting their dishes in the sink. Older children should be given daily chores and over time, they should require less reminders to get their chores done. Avoid nagging your child to get their chores done. If you nag your kids, they’re less likely to take responsibility to remember what they have to get done. Instead, provide consequences if they don’t complete their chores on time. Motivate Your Child with Rewards Give your child rewards for a job well done. Just like adults receive a salaries for showing up to work and doing their job, kids should earn some sort of reward for doing their jobs as well. Provide your child with an allowance for completing their chores. Create rules about how much of their money they can spend and how much needs to be saved so you can teach your child to be responsible with money. ProductiveMuslim-Productive-Parenting-Read-with-Your-Child Establish a Schedule Create a schedule that will help your child to be productive. Help your child set aside time to do their school work, finish their chores, and complete their daily tasks. Teach your child to get their work done before playing. When kids understand that they can have free time to play outside or use their electronics once their work is done, they are much more motivated to be productive. Set Time Limits on Gadgets Help your child establish healthy habits by setting time limits on electronics. Usually two hours of screen time, including TV, video games, and computer games, is plenty. Encourage your child to have other interests and activities that don’t involve electronics. Well-rounded kids are likely to participate in sports, clubs, and other activities that keep them too busy to be glued to the TV. Provide Consequences When Necessary Provide a consequence when your child doesn’t behave responsibly. When you give them a consequence, it will help them learn from their mistakes. Sometimes natural consequences are enough to teach your child a lesson. If your child doesn’t get their homework done, receiving a zero might be consequence enough for them. However, sometimes, additional consequences need to be imposed. Consider taking away extra privileges, such as electronics, until your child is able to show that they can behave responsibly again. Make it clear what they needs to do to get their privileges restored.


Parents! Stop overindulging your kids!

Happiness is relative. For a 70 year old woman, the ultimate moment of joy might be meeting her grandchildren after a while. A middle-aged man may associate happiness with getting a promotion at work or a business success. Thanks to media’s growing role in consumerism and commercialism, kids these days find happiness in material objects like the latest gadgets and expensive toys. Sometimes in an attempt to fuel this “happiness”, parents tend to go overboard and overindulgent with their children. This especially happens when they attempt to overcompensate for the time they’ve not been able to spend with their little ones. Sure, this will give a child a sense of momentary thrill and delight, but it can also result in a lifetime of harm if parents don’t know where to draw the line. Overindulgent parents are those who offer their kids “Too Much Stuff: Materialism and activities, Over-nurturing: Too much assistance reducing self-reliance, and Soft Structure: Little rules, no chores, aimless.” Here are 6 useful tips for parents to stop overindulging their kids: iStock_000010826846Small Being Assertive – A common mistake parents make is easily giving in to their child’s bad behavior to avoid unrest and maintain peace. What they fail to realize that catering to unreasonable demands of their child in pursuit of absolute calmness can go a long way in shaping up the child’s obstinate personality. A child who always gets his way will grow up with a mindset that things will always work as per his whims and fancies. Not only will this attitude impact his relationship with people around him but will also turn him into a spoilt brat. Lack of disciple at home can make kids disregard school rules, shun away responsibility and show little respect towards adults. It is important for parents to learn to say “no” and be firm with their kids when the situation demands. Setting Behavioral Expectations – Setting boundaries with respect to their kid’s behavior is the most essential practice that parents should follow. It is important to ingrain the basics of acceptable versus unacceptable behavioral traits in kids. For example, kids must be taught that it is unacceptable for them to throw a tantrum because of a toy at a mall whereas politely requesting parents is the right thing to do. Similarly, it is wrong on the part of kids to be rude and to snap back at parents when they voice their concerns or opinions. Allocating A Monthly Budget – Parents must avoid shelling out money each time their child demands something. They should instead introduce the concept of monthly allowance that will not only help their children understand the value of money but will also teach them the good habit of saving from an early age. healthy-people Setting A Routine – These days children are so enamored and over-consumed by modern day technology that they often disregard important things in life such as education, a healthy lifestyle and family values. Parents must set a strict routine for their kids to follow with fixed timings allotted to important activities like playing outdoors, studying, cleaning their room and sleeping. Without a proper routine kids can get carried away doing things only to suit their liking. Too much time spent watching TV or playing video games can not only hamper a child’s cognitive development and eyesight, but can also lead to other health problems like obesity. Appreciating Good Behavior – While it is essential for parents to reprimand their kids if they misbehave, it is equally important to appreciate them if they display good behavior. A word or two of encouragement helps reinforce positive actions in kids. It also helps kids realize that parents are their well-wishers and are on their side; they aren’t always set out to demean and prove kids wrong! Laying Importance On Family Bonding – Parents must teach their kids the importance of valuing relationships more than material pleasures. Instead of showering kids with pricey gifts regularly, parents should rather shower them with love and affection. Activities like picnics, board games and adventure sports should be regular happenings in families that want to strengthen the bond they share. It’s true that parents want nothing but the best for their kids, but at times, in pursuit of offering the best, parents tend to spoil their kids. It’s not wrong for parents to pamper their kids, but the key lies in striking the right balance between discipline and gratification. So, for the sake of your children, stop overindulging them. Instead, teach them the difference between a need and a want, and then make them work for their wants. For instance, rather than buying that new video game for your children, give them two options: Tell them they can place it on a wish list for a birthday or Christmas present, or they can do extra duties to earn the money to buy it themselves. If your children are willing to work for their “heart’s desire,” they’ll take better care of it, be more grateful for it, and think long and hard before turning a “want” into a “need” in the future.


Easy tips to make your kids an early riser for school

Nowadays many parents often complain that their kids sleep very late in the nights. Making the kids go to bed early is what every parent wish but how hard they try their dream doesn't come true. We all are familiar with the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise". Though its sounds very much easier, its often "hard" to follow even with adults. Hence, in the case of children its much more "harder". Here are a few  reasons why a kid may not be able to sleep early like Insomnia, afternoon Sleep, late night TV Watching, Ill Health, noisy surroundings, over exhaustion, and nightmares. 493ss_getty_rf_mom_walking_toddler_to_bed Here are few tips that would definitely work and help the kids to go to bed early:

  1. Try learning more about Sleeping Disorders and try to find whether your kid is actually suffering from one of them. If yes, consult a doctor and find out what can be done about it.
  1. Turn off the TV at a scheduled time every day. If the kids should not watch the TV, then the same rule must be followed by parents too(at least until the kids go to sleep).
  1. Make your child to sleep at fixed timings every day. This time should not be changed,no matter what.
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  1. Try to establish a daily bed time routine like brushing teeth, wearing night pyjamas, reading out a story book or telling one story
  1. A glass of milk is said to calm down the nerves and helps kid to sleep.
  1. Avoid any kind of caffeine drinks like cold drinks, coffee etc in the night or late evenings.
  1. Over-exhaustion can affect your child's sleep. When the child complains of pain in his legs or back, don't ignore it.
  1. If a kid is ill especially with fever, cough and cold, he wont be able to sleep. Such medical conditions disturb children's sleep and parents should understand. In such cases patients need a lot of rest and tend to sleep only when they feel better.
  1. A noisy environment can make it difficult to sleep even for adults. Hence see that the kid's sleep is not affected with such noises. Children sleep better in quiet and comfortable surroundings.
  1. A change of place affects kid's sleep. Make sure that children sleep in their own bedroom and don't keep changing their sleeping area every now and then. Though some or the other time this can be managed.
  1. A physical activity may seem to work best when it comes to sleeping. Hence ensure that your kid goes to play outdoors, or at least follows some physical exercises.
  1. If your kid is worried about night mares or is afraid of dark, don't scare him more. On the contrary, comfort him by discussing about his fears. If the child is afraid of darkness, then put a small lamp in his room and lit it at least till he goes to sleep.
  1. As you would maintain a regular sleeping schedule, in the same manner try to maintain an early morning getting up schedule. Don't let the kids oversleep.
  1. For toddlers afternoon nap can be good but try and avoid an afternoon nap in grown up kids. Afternoon naps mostly affect early night sleep and kids won't be able to sleep early at all. Hence engage the kids in some activity to avoid afternoon naps.
  1. In case you really have to put them to sleep in the afternoons, see that its not very late in the afternoon. And the afternoon nap should not be more than an hour or so.
  1. A hot water bath can also help the kids to sleep early. Hot water bath relaxes their muscles and induces sleep in children.
  1. Make sure that the kids finish their homework or school assignments in time. As this could be one reason why kids may stay put late in the nights.
  1. At least give the kids some time to relax before going to sleep. Kids are often excited after their exercise routine or TV watching. So one can allot at least 20 - 25 minutes for the kids to relax and then head to their bedroom. During this time engage them in small chats or just sit and relax.
  1. See that the children finish their dinner at least 1 hour before their sleeping time. Kids should not sleep directly after eating as it may not be good for their body.
  1. Kids can be occasionally rewarded for their good behaviour and for following the bed time routine in a perfect manner. Such rewards like a movie or a dine-out can be very encouraging.
Try these tips to make your child an early bird and thereby leading a more healthy lifestyle.


Top ten table manners parents must teach their kids

Parents often wonder how important it is to teach good table manners to kids. In fact most of the parents assume that kids would learn table manners by themselves as they grow up. But this assumption is completely wrong as it is not possible for the kids to learn table manners by themselves. The truth is if the kids are not taught table manners at the right age then kids make it a habit of practicing the same manners that they have been acting till date and don't consider learning or revising them at all. download (19) Hence, it is definitely important that kids learn good table manners at the right age and that too from their parents. Learning table manners is not at all that difficult for kids if they start learning them right from the age they learn to eat on their own. Slow and steady practice makes them perfect and they easily learn the table manners. DSC_1543 Here are some particular table manners all parents must teach their kids;

  1. Teach your kid to  pray first  and wash hands before every meal.
  1. Teach your kid to appreciate the food that is served to, other than criticizing or complaining about it.
  1. Teach your kid to finish the food that is served, without wasting it.
  1. While having family dinners, teach your kid to be seated until everybody completes eating.
  1. Teach your kid to maintain a good posture while eating food.
  1. Teach your kid to put small morsels of food in his mouth and to chew them without making loud noises.
  1. Teach your kids to avoid making rude comments about food when having dinners at somebody else's house or parties.
  1. Help your kid to learn how to eat with fork and spoons. This is very important to learn as many foods are to be eaten with fork and it can be really embarrassing to see a kid eating such foods like say noodles or vegetables with hands. Other than that eating with fork is a good habit and is always appreciated.
  1. Always remind your kid to clean his mouth with a napkin placed on lap. This will help them to remove any food particles stuck in and around their lips or chin.
  1. Teach your kids the usage of appropriate words like, "May I", "Please", " Excuse me", "Sorry" and "Thank you". They can be very useful while learning good table manners.
It is extremely important for any kid to learn table manners as they imbibe good habits in them. Appropriate eating habits are also appreciated in social functions and gatherings. When you invite guests to your house, they are definitely pleased with your kid's eating habits and table manners. But consider your kid is yet to learn table manners and behaves in a very indecent manner on the table when guests arrive. For example, chewing the food loudly and making noises, burping, slurping, licking fingers while eating, getting out of the table without excusing himself and speaking loudly while eating. Such acts can be embarrassing both for the parents as well as the guests. This may happen even in social gatherings or family functions. What is the point in making your kid feel embarrassed in front of everyone if you haven't taught him good table manners? What is the point in shouting or cursing children if they made you a topic of embarrassment in front of your friends or other family members? Teach them table manners now!!


How parents can help their children to make good friends

Having friends especially good ones is very important and part of growing up and life. It is a common complaint from parents that their children do not have many. Parents can really help children make good friends.  It is very important for children to meet other kids and make friendships. This helps in developing confidence in them and also boosts their self esteem. But some or the other way, it may not be possible for every kid to make new friends. So instead of disheartening, parents may take few efforts to help their child make new friends. This article helps parents to learn how. We see many children around us who have an in-built quality to make friends. Such kids can easily make friends anywhere, in school, gardens and near their house. Such kids have a knack of talking their way to new friendship. This quality comes very easily in some kids and they never have problem in making new friendships. These kids also have in-built social skils that help them get well in crowds and make friendship with new kids around them even in social functions or new places. But that is not the case with every kid around us. Only few of them can manage to show such skills. But there are many kids who are shy and overall reluctant to make new friends. DSC_1622 Such kids find it difficult to make new friends or talk to new kids. They overall turn out to be shy and loner and thus stay away from everyone. Now if this is how your kid behaves and stays away from making friends, it's definitely a matter of concern. For such kids if can't make friends at their early age then they grow up as loners and keep it to themselves. Hence parents need to put some efforts by which they may be able to help their kids in such situations. Parents can help their kids make new friends by trying their best thus to help out and encourage their child to come out of their shell. The kids who can easily and successfully make new friendships always adapt to new surroundings. But that is not the case with loners, who find it difficult to make new friendships. Problems arise when a family plans to shift to a new location. The loner kid hardly has made any friends after some time in his earlier location where he stayed. Now leaving these few friends of his and shifting to a new location may get more difficult for the kid as he may require lot more time to adapt to the new surroundings. Such kids find it very difficult to talk to their neighborhood kids and usually get lonelier. DSC_1584 download (17) This condition of kids makes parents face guilt for making their child go through this. But instead of facing guilt, what actually parents can do is help their child get into new friendships and thus handle the situation in a better way. Follow these tips to ensure your kids have the best category of friends;

  1. Encourage your child to come along with you to social events and introduce them to the children of their same age group.
  1. Help your child to overcome difficulties which keep them away from making new friends.
  1. Don't tag your kids with negative labels like 'bad' or 'useless' or 'weird', which will worsen the situation.
  1. Don't push your child to forcibly make friendships with kids they don't like.
  1. Always listen to what kids want to say about something and respect their feelings.
  1. Encourage your child to express themselves in front of everyone.
  1. If your child particularly is not happy about a friend who acts mean with him, advice him to concentrate on other friends, other than getting dishearten.
  1. Encourage your child to participate in various curricular activities or hobby classes where they may find new friends who would share the same hobby or activity.
  1. Always keep regular follow-ups with school teachers and learn how your child behaves in school when it comes to friendship.
  1. Be a good friend of your child and thus be a good role model, this way the child understands the true meaning and aspect of friendship.
Do you have any other tips to help children make good friends in the school? Share your suggestiosn in the comment section below!


Golden tips to develop your child’s self esteem

  Ever felt your child is nervous in the presence of other people ? There may be many reasons for the unsocial behaviour observed in children. Yet, the most obvious reason being noticed among many kids is none other than "Lack of self esteem". If easily ignored, children will eventually become an introvert in this "exclusively-for-smart-people" world. How can you develop self esteem in your child? DSC_1512 - Let the child be part of making rules at home. That will make them feel good and thus they will find it interesting and will try more to live by the rules. - Let the child feel he is important. Let the child participate in making decisions on what grocery to buy or what to cook today. - Each child is important and have different skills. If your child feels inferior to someone else, talk about some other field in which your child is better than others. - Do not compare your child with other children. - Set goals which can be achieved. Appreciate when they achieve the goals. Help them achieve the goal if they feel difficulty. - Show them that you are interested in what they do. Never make fun of their work, even if you feel it is not great. Your child should never feel shy to show you what they did. - Avoid praising the child, but appreciate the good "thing" they did. It is better to say "I like the way you helped us clean the house", rather than saying "you are smart". - Give responsibilities to the child. Even if it is easier to do things yourself, let your child do tasks appropriate for his age. Let him do mistakes and learn from the them. Do not interfere at each stage of the work. Let the child make choices and take decisions. Interfere with his work only when he is doing something destructive or dangerous. - If your child feels he can't do something that is appropriate for his age, do not do it for him. Instead, let him try it several times until he succeed. That will make him proud. - Listen your child. When your child is talking, stop everything else you are doing and focus on what he need to share with you. That will make him feel he is important. - Make your child respect others. When your child compare himself with others, let him know that he is good at something and the other child could be important at something else. Let him learn everybody is important. - Teach your child to be helpful. Children at each age can do something at home like making beds, bringing cloths to the washing machine, arranging books in the shelf etc. By taking his help, you are teaching him responsibilities, as well as making him feel he is important and useful in the family. These methods are sure shots to bloom self esteem and self dignity in children thus making them confident about themselves.Let your child face the world with all the dignity making you proud about them.  


How to help your child with Exam Phobia

Exam for  third term are close by. Have you ever witnessed a child going completely blank during examinations or falling sick as soon as the examination days come close by? If yes then your child definitely has excessive exam fear which can be a reason for all these sickness or blank memory. In many children it has been observed that the word exam brings a severe fright in them. As soon as exam dates come closer, these children complain about sickness like stomachaches, fever, vomiting, nausea and much more. Other than sickness few child may also complain about complete memory erase and thus going blank during examination. Thus the onsets of exams and scary thoughts as well as fears within few children walk parallel in life. download (11) Such children succumb to the pressure of the exam fear and fall sick or go blank during exams. This fear is more in terms of unnecessary pressure and demands from parents for which children have to face the brunt. In most of the cases parents are known to be responsible for such exam fear in children as they demand too much from them in terms of marks and grades. When it comes to confident children who learn or master to handle such exam fear such pressures don't bother them. But for children who are weak and not very confident about their performances may find it too much to handle. The exam fear however is not experienced by each and every child. Few kids are known to absorb and perform well even within the pressure. But for those who get a bit anxious about the onset of exams and the feeling of standing up to their parents demand may be the victims of exam fear. download (10) There are many causes which may be the reason for exam fear in children. Few of these include: - When a child is pressurized by parents for good grades. - When too much expected from a child in terms of performance and achievements by the school, parents or teachers. - When the child himself or herself has too many expectations - When a child suffers from low self esteem or confidence - When a child fears about not been able to score like his classmates - When a child has failed considerably in his earlier exams. - When a child has scored poorly and fears for the same to happen in the coming exams - When a child is not prepared or revised well for the oncoming exams - When the child is scared of the remarks and scolding he may get for his performance When a child experiences exam fear, he is not going to come and speak about it to his parents. But parents should themselves observe those symptoms within children repeatedly whenever exam dates come closer. Few of the symptoms of exam fear that parents can look out for include: Blank memory, severe anxiety,  inability to fall asleep, nervousness, frequent urination, exhaustion, stomach aches, irritable bowels, loss of hunger, headaches, lowering of blood pressure, nausea or sickness, body aches, fever, cramps in hands and legs, shivering of hands, unconsciousness etc african-student Once you learn about the symptoms and causes of exam fear, you are aware of what is exactly happening with your child. If you find the same symptoms of exam fear within your child you need to help him out by overcoming this exam fear. Here's how you can do this: Play a role of good parent Carrying out a role of good parent plays a major role in helping your child overcome the exam fear. Once you read the above mentioned causes and analyze that it is the parent's pressure or expectations that are responsible for the exam fear in your child, then drive out that pressure from your child's mind. Support your child and remind him that he has been working hard and would definitely achieve success, other than pressurizing him over not achieving. Don't compare his achievements with others, instead allow him to focus on his own studies and support him well with advice and help with the exam preparation. Once a child finds out that his parents are happy with his performance, he will relax and the exam fear or pressure will be released immediately. download (12) Preparation is an important element that beats exam fear If a child is prepared well, then nothing can beat him from scoring well in exams. Once a child is prepared thoroughly for the examination, the exam fear has no place to make home within the child's mind. Always remind your child that "Failure comes to only those who aren't prepared well". Hence parents should help their children with proper preparation and revision of the exam syllabus thus preparing well for their exams. Provide a calm and soothing study atmosphere for your child Allow your child to study in a calm and relaxed atmosphere, where there is no pressure, disturbance and noise. In such atmosphere a child learns and revises well, thus preparing to beat him exam fear. See that your child is well fed and relaxed before studying A good balanced diet and proper sleep is one of the known factors for beating exam fear. Whenever a child prepares to study or revise, ensure that he had a good meal and proper sleep. Exhaustion may work as a hindrance between your child and his exam preparation. Help your child to understand his studies better than by-heart everything If your child has to by-heart each and every answer within his studies, then this indicates that your child has failed to understand the topics covered within his studies. Help your child with proper explanation and understanding of the concepts and only to by-heart the essentials like formulas, poems, phrases other than by-heart everything. Even though a child has to attend his exams and hence he is preparing himself by studying and revising the topics, parents should ensure that their child does not get hooked to his books all the time. Instead suggest him to take some time off by engaging himself in certain stress buster activities such as listening to music, spending time with family, playing for a while with friends, going for a walk, and few more such things.


Single Dad: lessons from Raising Two Beautiful Black Girls

Khalid Sumner, a screenwriter and single father of twins, opens up about what he has learned about himself and his children in this journey called fatherhood. Here, he shares his best tips for raising two, beautiful black girls.
A generation ago, interpreting the world meant watching the evening news on television. But since — like most fourth graders — I wouldn’t be caught dead watching the Nightly News or World News Tonight, my view of the world remained confined to simpler pursuits; girls, becoming rich and famous one day and staying up late enough to watch my favorite TV show. The future was distant and engorged with possibilities; being an adult wasn’t a thing yet. Now, it’s a thing, and as a millennial father I realize it carries with it a ton of other interpretations and responsibilities that were impossible to imagine in 1992.  In 2017, my children have more at their fingertips than I ever did. They can see and experience more through the internet than other forms of media I had available to me as a young boy.
It provides an added layer of difficulty to an already pretty impossible job; raising a caring, thoughtful, well-adjusted, compassionately decent human being. This all becomes exceptionally more complex when you add being Black, single and of the opposite sex of your offspring.  So as a single Black father of twin girls with completely different personalities, how does one tackle boys, sex, racism, the current political climate, self-image, misogyny, cyber bullying, health and the transition from adolescence to womanhood? Here is what I have learned so far in my journey through fatherhood. Get Help The number one bit of advice I have developed and share openly with any parent I meet is to embrace the fact you don’t – and probably shouldn’t – know everything.  Parenting is much like life in that it was not designed for one person to traverse through. It really does take a village.  Seek out successful fathers and ask them their methods. Take what is useful, leave the rest. Use what works for you. Your journey is unique and not at the same time. Listen To Understand, Not To Respond As a man, it is easy to tune out your daughter(s) when they tell you something because it may not make sense to you. Train yourself not to do that. They are budding women, but they are also kids just like you were. Even if you have to fake it, refer to number one on this list to help you interpret what you hear so you can eventually communicate properly. Give Context Explaining racism, sexism, classism or the political climate of this country is hard, but showing your daughters history can help give them context to the things they are experiencing. Be Deliberate Wing it but don’t wing it. Be thoughtful about the people/experiences you have around your daughter around. A woman you admire and respect should be in their lives as often as possible. There are conversations that they may have with that person that hold different meaning than if they had that conversation with you. Be Honest Talk your daughters about sex — or any topic — truthfully. Tell her about the opposite sex and intimate relationship. What people might say and also do so she can prepare herself to discern between genuine people/connections and selfishness/manipulation. Always inform her “pressure” does not exist to do anything. Boys are just as clueless. Nothing happens unless on your terms and in your own time (which is advise I would also give my son). Share Yourself. Learn Her You may love football. Teach it to your daughter. She will grow up loving it. And if she absolutely hates it, learn what she likes and share that with her. As a father of twins I have the best of both world. I have a diva and an athlete who love different things. I always share with them my interests and we meet somewhere in the middle. I remind myself to always allow them to be themselves. Be Consistent Don’t be a drill sergeant (this encourages disobedience), but when you set rules, make sure you follow them as well. If you tell your daughter to be home by 11, make sure she knows 11:05pm will have consequences. You will be surprised how much self-policing will happen. This also works with keeping your word. The more you do what you say you are going to do the more security and gravity your words will have with her. She will also adjust herself accordingly (i.e. pull up her grade in geometry because you told her you will take her to the Beyoncé concert). Be Vocal. Be Actionable TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU LOVE HER AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. AND THEN SHOW HER. This will become the foundation of her self-image and eventually self-esteem. It will be the conduit to her knowing how to love herself and how she shows love to others.
Give Her Real Expectations Every dad wants to spoil their little girls to a certain extent, but doing that will set certain expectations for her in her personal relationship, which may not be realistic. You don’t want her going through life expecting people to shower her with gifts. In the same breath, you also want her to know nice things so that someone can’t bribe their way into her life. This is a balance all dads struggle with. I usually try to rewards accomplishments with gifts. But constant gifts for no reason are a no-no. Challenge yourself to be a better man. Your little girl will help you and become a better woman for it. - Khalid Sumner is a screenwriter from Brooklyn currently navigating the development of 2 amazing twin girls. (Envato)