twins

Outdoor activities is better for children

Children don’t need iPads and iPhones - Mikel Obi’s wife advises parents

One thing is sure, children love playing outside, they love the outdoor. Olga Diy, wife of the captain of Nigerian Super Eagles Mikel Obi has some advice for future parents. She disclosed this in an Instagram video where her children were playing in the garden. She put out the advice for parents to allow their children play outside as much as possible to get familiar with nature. This really sounds good but for where we live in, how sure are we that the advice can or will work for us considering ritualists and all sort of menace plaguing our community. The mother of twins isn't just giving out advice as she seem to be practicing what she is preaching in a few pictures also from her Instagram page. vllkyt5su65nrcdin.55dc4565 Mikel Obi's wife,Olga Diy (Source: Instagram) Her video is captioned with the following: Dear parents and future parents let your children play outside as much as possible. They are such curious, inquisitive and creative little beings. Nothing will provide them with better mental, physical and emotional development than nature! Children don't need iPads and iPhones, give them more than electronics, teach them to use their imagination! It's not the easy way out, but boy it's worth it when you see your kids climb trees and drum on lamp posts because it's fun! Stop and smell the flowers ✌⭐️#nature #parenthood #childhood #playtime #creativity #imagination #children #trees #playtime #twins#mumlife

siblings-fighting-400x400

Fostering a Sweet Sibling Relationship From the Start

When you introduce a new baby into the family, you want your older child (or children) to be excited, just as you are. But it's rarely an easy transition for the older sibling, who experiences much more downside from this new relationship than we usually want to admit. You probably already know to spend daily one-on-one time with each older child, and to keep your relationship with each child positive. Your ability to take delight in your older child is the single best protection against her feeling sibling rivalry toward the baby. But did you know that there are also many things you can do to foster a sweet relationship between your children, even while one is still a baby? Here are ideas that are easy to use -- even if you're sleep deprived!  

  1. Whenever possible, sleep with both your infant and your older child,
so those feelings of big love they feel on your lap get transferred toward each other. If you can get them both laughing, the oxytocin they’re releasing will also help them bond. Every relationship needs 6 positive interactions for every negative interaction, so consciously work to get positive interactions happening between your kids. Laughter and physical contact stimulate bonding hormones like oxytocin and reduce stress hormones, so every time you get your children laughing or snuggling together, you strengthen their positive bond. sublings
  1. Talk about how each child is feeling, in front of the other.
Research shows that when parents discuss the baby’s feelings and needs, preschoolers interact more positively with their siblings, even a year later. “How do you think she’s feeling? What can we do to help her?”You can further humanize your youngest by using her name, instead of calling her “the baby.” This also works in reverse. Talk to the baby, in front of the older child, about the sibling’s needs and emotions. Can the baby understand? Over time, she will. Most important, this helps your older child feel that his needs are as important to you as the baby’s.  
  1. Bring the baby into the big kid's world.
If your child is always playing on the floor while you're always sitting in the rocker feeding the baby, your child will feel the separation. Whenever you can, sit on the floor next to your older child while he plays, wearing your infant and letting her watch. It's even worth figuring out how to get comfortable feeding the baby on the floor, if you can do it, just so your older child doesn't feel so left out during those incessant feedings.
  1. As you tend to the baby, invite the involvement of the older child and honor her contributions.
sin
  1. Stay calm and redirect.
Of course, sometimes the older sib’s help won’t be helpful. Is she singing too loudly into the infant’s ear? Trying to feed the baby her carrot? Take a deep breath and redirect. Suggest she stroke the baby instead of singing, or show the baby her carrot instead of putting it in his mouth. Staying calm and redirecting takes a lot of self-control for you, but it makes a tremendous difference in helping your child find constructive ways to relate to her sibling, instead of feeling pushed aside when her attempts to connect are clumsy.
  1. Give the older sibling some responsibility.
Kids love to be in charge of something. How about entertaining the baby during diaper changes, or singing a song at bedtime? He’ll take the responsibility seriously, if you do.
  1. Encourage your child to amuse the baby.
As your infant begins to smile and laugh in response, help your older child to notice the baby’s affection. Soon they’ll be nurturing their own cycle of amusement and adoration.
  1. Don't belittle the baby to build the child up.
Parents often make disparaging remarks about the baby so the older child will feel better. It’s fine for your child to feel angry or jealous, but you don't want to model that okay to demean others. So don’t be mean about the baby, even in jest, or you’re giving your child permission to be mean-spirited. Instead, resist the urge to compare. Each child is wonderful, and at their own stage, on their own timetable. geyyyy   Really. Hand the baby to someone else, if that’s possible. Your children depend on you to stay emotionally regulated, and that means you need to keep your own cup full. Figure out what keeps you centered, and work it into your schedule. Fostering a healthy sibling relationship requires that you stay in balance yourself.

kloo

Helping your child overcome shyness

Some children who are considered shy are highly sensitive, meaning very aware of and strongly affected by their environment. Others are introverted, meaning that they need time away from other people to renew their energy. Some children are so absorbed in their own projects and ideas that they're simply less interested in social interaction. So let's say, for the purposes of this article, that you're reading this because you want to support your child to become more comfortable in social situations. Hopefully, you appreciate your unique child, who probably notices social nuances that other children miss. But it's natural to worry if your child seems to feel anxious with other people. We all want our children to make friends easily, to feel comfortable asking questions at school, to speak up for themselves. The good news is that most kids can learn to manage social anxiety so they can connect happily with others, enter new groups, and speak up for themselves. They just need a little extra support.

  1. Nurture your child by noticing her needs and responding to them.
Responsive mothering helps sensitive little ones learn to calm themselves and manage their reactions. That allows their heightened sensitivity to become an asset, because it makes them more responsive to the needs of their peers and better at negotiating group situations.
  1. Empathize with your child’s worries and avoid shaming him.
Acknowledging what he feels, without negative judgment, helps him to feel good about himself. Giving him the impression that there is something wrong with him will just make him feel worse about himself, and therefore more insecure. Empathizing with your child will also help him develop empathy, which will enhance his social skills and help him connect with others. kloo
  1. Model confident behavior with other people. Kids learn from watching us.
That means being friendly to strangers, offering help to others, and modeling a relaxed attitude about social interactions of all kinds.
  1. Teach your child basic social skills to respond to both adults and children.
Kids often need to be taught to make eye contact, shake hands, smile, and respond to polite conversations appropriately. hyimmzz
  1. Help your child learn how to make friends.
Role play with your child how to notice and respond when another child initiates, how to join a game at the playground, how to introduce themselves to another child at a party, and how to initiate a suggestion.
  1. Coach your child to express her needs and stand up for herself in social situations.
All children need the confidence that they can handle what comes up when parents aren't around. For instance, every child needs to know how to respond to affronts with phrases like  "It's my turn now....I was still using that.....I don't like it when you say that....I am not going to play with you if you say hurtful things to me." This is especially important when peers tease or bully.
  1. Don’t label your child as shy.
Instead, acknowledge his worries and point out that he can overcome his fears. For instance,
  1. Teach your child effective strategies for dealing with feelings of social awkwardness.
One very helpful approach to social anxiety is to accept it as a part of normal life that affects most people, reassure yourself that you’re ok anyway, and focus on others rather than yourself. For instance, remind your child that she doesn’t have to be interesting, just interested, and teach her to ask other kids questions and listen to their answers.
  1. Provide your child with small daily opportunities to interact with others.
Socially anxious children need downtime, of course, especially if they're introverts. But they also need plenty of opportunities to practice their social skills. And remember that empathizing doesn’t mean being over-protective. Applaud every little step he takes on his own. shy
  1. Don't push your child to perform.
Some children like telling jokes or showing off their new ability for Grandma, but many kids hate it. Enjoy your unique child without making him feel like he's only valued if he performs.
  1. Teach your child that one good friend is worth many acquaintances.
Some parents worry if their child isn't the life of the party. But what's important is that your child feel connected, like she has someone she can talk to, or someone he wants to play with at recess. It's not necessary to have a lot of friends, just a few good ones.
  1. Don’t create social anxiety by teaching young children to be afraid of strangers.
Instead, teach your child that he or she should always be with you, or with a teacher. If her special adult is with her, your child doesn’t need to be afraid of strangers. Once she’s old enough to begin walking home from school by herself, you can begin discussing how to keep herself safe. Is your child shy? What steps have you taken to help overcome this shyness?

KIDS ONLY

Top Tips for Raising Polite Children – Janet Adetu

          

  1. Demystify what Manners are:
Manners are a way of behaving that is expected of you, which shows respect for others and proper conduct. Teach your children what standards you want in your household, classroom, campus, educational institution and make them compliant. Parents give your children a foundation that speaks to good upbringing.
  1. Meeting & Greeting:
This is a basic activity that should come naturally as an act of politeness. Teach these steps:
  • Stand up
  • Keep your head up
  • Smile
  • Say Hello (Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening)
  • Address correctly ( Ma, Sir)
  • Correct eye contact
When meeting
  • Say your name
  • Say something about yourself
  • Be first to greet
  • Say goodbye when leaving
Group of happy female and male kids having fun and hugging around the camera. Low angle view
  1. Magic Words
“Manners are priceless but the lack of it can cost millions” Start with yourself and make magic words a part of your vocabulary.  In raising polite children have the following words engaged in their daily conversation skills.
  • Please
  • Thank you
  • Excuse me
  • No thank you
  • You are welcome
  • Welcome
  • Yes please
  • Pardon me
Magic words complete your request for help, permission and favours. Without magic words your request is incomplete. Test your children, ask them how many times they used the word “please” today. KIDS ONLY
  1. Conversation Skills
Teach your child to speak up and speak out whenever they are talking or being spoken to. The first strategy is to always look up with direct eye contact, they are traits of a successful professional. Other steps include:
  • Show interest
  • Speak clearly
  • Listen attentively
  • Respond with confidence
  • Ask questions
  • Avoid bragging about themselves
  1. Helping Hand
Teach your children to always offer a helping hand well before they are asked. When mum or dad look like they could do with help let them be there to assist. Help around the house is always needed. A polite child can ask if help is needed in the kitchen, cleaning the car or cleaning the house. Source: Mrs Janet Adetu janet A

O2AIDS_P2

Strategies for Not Losing Your Temper on Your kids

You’re on the brink of losing your temper with your kids. You hold it in. You take a deep breath…and then you lose it. Ugh. Not a good feeling and certainly not productive. Just about every parent, if they admitted it, has lost their temper with their child. After all, pushing a parent to the brink is a large part of a child’s job description. They not only know which buttons to push, but how and when to push them to get the biggest rise out of us. Although a typical day in the life of a parent has more than its share of challenges designed to test our patience, there are certain scenarios that are almost certain to make us lose our temper with our children. So here are the reasons why you lose your temper, and what you can do about it.

  1. Fatigue.
We quickly come to the end of our rope when we have too much to do and too little energy with which to do it. Add to this the fact that kids seem to have a limitless amount of energy and you’re already tired when you wake up in the morning. PARET
  1. Projected Anger.
Often we are ticked off at someone else or about something that has little or nothing to do with the crisis of the moment. Unfortunately, our kids are the easiest, most accessible target of this displaced anger.
  1. Unrealistic Expectations.
We have an agenda that does not take into account the unpredictability of life in general and parenting in particular. Our kids catch the blame for our inability to fulfill these unrealistic goals.
  1. Failure to Plan.
Many times, our frustration and anger are of our own making because we fail to put in the extra effort it takes to prepare us and our children for the unique demands of the day. Remember, when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
  1. A Distorted Perspective.
We assume it is us against them and that they are out to get us. We see those little charges as the enemy who has us under siege. The psychological term is confirmation bias—once we assume this is true, then real life seems to confirm it. O2AIDS_P2 Losing our temper is one of the most common sources of guilt and failure for a parent. So what can we do about it?
  1. Pace Yourself.
Do your best to rest up when the chance presents itself. Even if your kids don’t take a nap, institute a quiet time in the afternoon. If they protest, get that wild look in your eyes and tell them, “If I don’t get a break, you are going to regret it!” They’ll run to their rooms.
  1. Identify and Deal with your Anger.
Ask yourself, “What am I really angry about?” If you can’t take care of it immediately, write down your course of action and then set it aside until you can deal with it. Pray for a gentle spirit toward your kids and ask forgiveness if needed.
  1. Keep it Real.
Once you have a reality check on your perfectly executed day, calculate how much time, energy, and money it will take to pull it off and then triple it.
  1. Plan.
As you anticipate what you need to prepare for the demands of the day, plan accordingly. Lists are incredibly helpful and sticky notes rule!
  1. The Truth will set your children free.
This is when you need to act maturely and responsibly with their self interest at heart. Remember, our job is to love and train our children. We are the parent and they are just children. Don’t take their goofiness and irritating behavior personally. Fathers (and mothers too), do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart. Parenting can be the greatest job you ever do, with rewards here on earth and more in heaven.

MUNNM

Things Mums of 8-Year-Olds Should Do

Knowing what kind of independence to give your 8-year-old can be confusing. Here’s how to figure it out and our entire list of things mums of 8-year-olds should do.

  1. Assess their strengths and challenges.
It’s important to intervene now in any areas where your child is struggling so that you can help her get on track. Same goes with areas in which she excels. Now’s a great time to explore developing those further. This printable will help you zero in on areas in which she might need more guidance from you. Of course, encourage your child in all areas by letting her know you believe in her ability to succeed and make good choices.
  1. Make time for bedtime.teach your child to pray
Your 8-year-old needs nine to eleven hours of sleep a night to attain full health. He also needs your attention at bedtime. Even if your children are self-sufficient, make time to connect at bedtime. Tuck them in with a kiss, pray with them, be available to listen if they want to talk. MUNNM
  1. Teach them an emotional language.
By the age of 8 it’s important that your children can identify their feelings with words so they don’t have to resort to physical actions to express themselves. Teach him words for his feelings. When he’s angry, help figure out if that anger is being caused by frustration, disappointment, or another emotion like embarrassment or fear. This printable might seem a little young for an 8-year-old, but it’s a good place to start if your child is behind on expressing himself verbally. It has basic emotions that you can build on as you teach your children to attune to their feelings.feel wheel
  1. Check their eyes and ears.
Now is the time to catch any vision or hearing deficiencies so that they can be corrected successfully. Be sure to have their eyes and ears checked to correct any problems that could hinder them academically.
  1. Give them a chance to shine.
An 8-year-old is developing a stronger sense of self so it’s important that you choose your words carefully to build her up and not accidentally tear her down. What does your eight-year-old love to do? What is she good at? Be on the lookout for talents and interests and give her a chance to express those. Be careful not to pick on your child at this stage. Even if you think it’s just joking, be careful about teasing your child about her interests.
  1. Give them more independence.
If you want to have a responsible teenager, start developing independence in your 8-year-old now. Let him make his own breakfast, have regular chores, and make more choices on his own. This list of ways to make them more independent will give you an idea of what you’re shooting for.
  1. Give them screen time structure.
If you want to protect your 8-year-old from growing up too fast, watch what he watches. Monitor his screen time use. Have a talk with him and decide how much screen time he should have every day. The world of an 8-year-old should include more hours of playing without screens. And now is the time to talk to your child about pornography and other dangers. Then later when they're older, go on to talk about the dangers of going down the pornography path.
  1. Show them lots of love.
Hug your 8-year-old. Kiss your 8-year-old. Tell your 8-year-old you love her so much. Watch out for the things mums should never say to their children. Love your child by having a home filled with love. This will lay a strong foundation that will see you through the teen years when your child will need your loving support.   What other things should mums do for their 8-year-olds?

teens1

Puberty: A Basic Guide For Young Women

Puberty is the combination of physical and emotional changes that occur when a girl or boy becomes a young woman or man. Puberty takes place at the point that the body starts to make new hormones. These hormones guide the physical changes but also produce emotional changes. The following describes changes in girls through puberty. The earliest expected age is 8 years old and the latest expected age is 16 years of age. Puberty is triggered when the pituitary gland, a pea-sized gland near the brain, signals the body to release hormones. teens1 Hormones then stimulate the growth and development of reproductive organs as well as other changes throughout the body. Breast changes will begin to occur. The breasts will begin to grow in size, including the nipples. It is normal for one of your breast to be larger than the other and for them to feel sore at times. Hair will begin to grow in new places during puberty. Pubic hair will slowly begin to grow in a triangular pattern in the pubic area. Hair under the arms will start to grow as well.  You may also notice darkening of the hair on your legs or arms. Sweating increases and there is a change in body odor. This is a good time to start using deodorant. stages-of-puberty_533x255_d0xwcw Skin will begin to become more oily than usual. This can cause acne and pimples on your face and back. There are over-the-counter medications and cleaning agents to help treat acne, and if these don’t work, there are prescription medicationsthat should help make a difference. Your body will begin to change shape. The hips and thighs will widen, and the pelvis expands. Your body will begin to have more curves About six months to a year before your period starts, you may notice a clear, white vaginal discharge. This is normal and might turn yellow on contact with underwear. If the discharge has a fishy odor or is so much that you would need to wear a panty liner, contact your doctor because this may be a yeast infection. At puberty, you will experience your first menstrual period. download (5) This is the discharge of blood and tissue from the lining of your uterus each month. During ovulation the lining of the uterus begins to thicken, and if the egg is not fertilized, it is shed during the menstrual period. This discharge of blood is referred to as the menstrual period but is most commonly called the period, and it is a normal function of the female body. A girl’s first menstrual period usually starts somewhere between age 8 and 16. Periods usually last 3-7 days and happen once a month. A girl’s average cycle, the time from the first day of bleeding of one period until the first day of bleeding for the next period, is an average of 28-32 days, although this may vary and be irregular in the beginning. There are many choices of feminine hygiene products, such as sanitary napkins and tampons, that can be used during your period. Take time to try different products to find which feels the most comfortable for you.  

omotola with daughter (1)

Things You Must Know About Your Kids’ Friends

Your kids’ friends are going to have an impact on them, positively and negatively. It’s important to know who they are so you can help your children navigate and discern what’s right from wrong. Here are five essentials to know about your kids’ friends.

  1. Who their parents are.
When we say “who,” we’re not simply referring to where his dad works and which neighborhood they live in. It’s important to know as much as possible about the families these kids come from, and how closely their values and parenting style align with your own. This is especially important if your child will be spending time in the other child’s home for a sleepover. If you don’t have reliable sources in the form of mutual friends, you’ll have to take the initiative and get to know the family on your own. Invite the mom for coffee or include the family in a gathering of friends. You really can’t know too much! Black-mother
  1. Who the child’s other friends are.
You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. If your daughter’s friend hangs out with an older or faster crowd, that can tell you a lot about the influences and ideas your child will be exposed to through the friendship. By contrast, if your child’s new friend has close relationships with other children you know to be great kids from like-minded families, then that tells you a great deal, too.
  1. What kind of student he or she is.
We’re not talking about raw, God-given intelligence here—none of us gets to choose how much of that we receive. But if your child’s friends are good students who place importance on academic achievement and working hard in the classroom, it can help influence your child to do his best, too. On the flip side, a kid who thinks school is “stupid” or “boring” and doesn’t care about his grades may rub off on your child in a negative way. It also indicates what type of work ethic and sense of responsibility the child possesses. 56f225d694b92.image
  1. Whether the child respects adults and other authority figures.
This can be tough because almost every child puts on a good face around adults . But this is another area in which the attitudes of your kids’ friends will have an effect on your child. If they have friends who constantly push back against authority and look for ways to beat the rules, your child will learn to do the same. Listen up when they talk about their teachers and parents in your presence—their true attitudes will seep out in the way they discuss them.
  1. If the child shares a similar faith.
We’re not suggesting that every friend your child has must be a member of the exact same church in the same denomination your family has chosen. But you must realize that—especially in the primary school years—children are forming a worldview based upon all the information and influences around them. A friend who doesn’t share your child’s faith can cloud that picture and create confusion, so proceed with caution. Are there other things you think one should know ? Tell us in the comments section below.

15802793_751034565049621_5641838966664593408_n

What to teach your daughters to look for in a guy

Every young girl dreams of a fairy-tale romance. So what kind of guy should you be teaching your daughters to look for? They need to know what to look for in a boy. Their future and their children’s future happiness depends on it. Here are some things mums should teach their daughters to look for in a boy.

  1. Look for a Gentleman.
A young man should open the door for you, stand when you sit at a table, and carry heavy bags for you. Polite gestures like these reflect an inner dignity you’ll want in a husband.
  1. Look for Honor
Be sure to observe the way a young man treats his parents. He should always honor them not because of their performance, but because of their position as his mother and father. kilani
  1. Look for Respect.
You deserve a young man who will treasure you enough to respect your body as belonging to your future husband alone. He should also know how to respect that your emotions and feelings are special, not things to be played with.
  1. Look for Integrity.
Look for a young man who lives out his morals daily, not just when you are around. You want someone who will have actions that reflect his words. mommm
  1. Look for Responsibility.
Don’t expect perfection from the man you’re going to marry. But DO expect him to own up and apologize right away when he makes a mistake.
  1. Look for Hard Work.
Find someone who will work hard to provide for you and your children. Because we were all created to work, it’s important for a man to strive to work hard and avoid lazy tendencies.
  1. Look for Love.
You won’t always “feel” in love. So be sure to wait for a man who will not only make you feel loved, but also show you his love through his actions and words.
  1. Look for Faith.
Don’t settle for anyone until you see that they love God more than anyone or anything else. You want a man who will lead you and your family spiritually, so find someone who is rooted in their faith in God.  

1 (1)

What teenagers want you to know (but won’t tell you)

In life, teenagers can be difficult to read. Every day, they perform in a world of adult agendas and judgment. They work really hard at perfecting the outside so everything on the inside can stay hidden where it is safe. There are a precious few they can trust so they develop their poker face. Teenagers have a lot going on under the surface that they either haven’t identified, are afraid to say, or don’t know how to tell you. So it remains inside, alone and unattended. What if we did know? It might change the way we parent teens. Here are 5 things your teenagers secretly want you to know but won’t tell you.

  1. They want you to say no.
They need your boundaries, but more interestingly, they want them. Giving them clearly defined lines of what is appropriate and what is not creates security for kids. However, just because they want those boundaries doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to push against them and they will. That’s how they figure out if what you say is true and real. It’s your job to say no, stick to it, and explain to them why that boundary exists. Then you need to respond with consistency, nurturing, and compassion when they step out of bounds. That is also not to say that boundaries never change or widen, particularly as they mature. TEEN A Giving them clearly defined lines of what is appropriate and what is not creates security for kids.
  1. They are desperate for your approval.
Unless they perceive you as untrustworthy, this is the reason they get so annoyed and roll their eyes at your correcting. For right or wrong, they are feeling your disapproval as a person. It’s a feeling of rejection. This is not saying  you shouldn't  correct, but having an awareness of how they are receiving your feedback may change how you do it and how often.
  1. They want your guidance rather than your expectations.
They want you to walk with them in their pain and discomfort. Teenagers have adults and peers giving them marks to hit all the time. They don’t need you to set a level for them to live up to but rather coach them. It’s the difference of how a coach responds to a player who drops the ball.  
  1. They have no idea who they are yet and are scared 
Their core self has not developed. They really are several different people. The person they are when they’re with their friends on a Friday night is way different than the person they are at home or in the classroom. That doesn’t mean they are fake, it’s just a person whose different selves haven’t merged into a solid identity yet. The tension they live with is trying to be both a part of themselves (which they don’t know what that is) and what the other person thinks they should be. It’s a confusing and lonely place. They live in fear of disappointing people, namely, you, dad, teachers,  and friends. They’re afraid of spending the rest of their life feeling as alone and misunderstood as they do right now. Be a safe and encouraging place.
  1. They are consistently treated with contempt.
If they come across as moody or oversensitive, it is more than just hormonal or a bad attitude. If I made the statement, “There was a group of teenagers at the mall…,” you would expect the rest of that story to be negative. Teens are blamed, belittled, marginalized, and treated with contempt. I’ve seen it personally. They need to be shown respect and compassion. Don’t just react, but study what is driving the attitude. Would you like to add any other thing to this list?