Are you scared of marriage too?

Are you scared of marriage? especially with all the marriage  issues and cases you see and hear of everyday. Yes, I'm scared of marriage. In fact, the thought terrifies me. If you’re a thoughtful, sensitive, analytical person, there are lots of questions that will likely run across the screen of your mind. Some of the thoughts that go through my head are: What if we get divorced? What if he cheats on me? What if I don’t love him/her enough or in the “right” way? What if I’m not following God’s will? What if I’m not always attracted to my partner anymore? What if The marriage becomes boring? The thoughts are endless. I've seen lots of couples(not celebrities) get married and somewhere along the line, something happens and everything falls apart. I see how my neighbours are at loggerheads every other night fighting over one trivial thing or the other. Even the children of some pastors I know have marital problems. All these makes me think “do I really want to get married?”. The fear I have for marriage is so bad that I literally don't want to go into any relationship so it won't lead to marriage. Now that the whole marriage (and wedding) thing has been commercialized, it gets worse! Here are some of the reasons that cause marital fear sca You will, at times, have to carry a burden that is not your own. And I worry about how I’ll handle that. Marriage is always about give and take. It’s about balance and sharing the challenges and working together. Sometimes one person is weak and the other person will have to be the one to carry all the strain, and vice versa. I know that when I’m going through something, my future husband will be there to help me carry the load. And I know that when he’s under stress, I will want to do everything I can to help him. I just sometimes worry that my strength will be inadequate.  

  1. I’m already having trouble figuring out my own career, and my own life. And I know that marriage means handling all that, as well as the life of someone else. Not to mention kids, if you’re eventually going to have them. Sometimes I feel so confused and uncertain about who I am and what I’m doing, that I feel completely overwhelmed and paralyzed. The idea of handling all that while trying to build a new life with someone else is a lot to think about.
  1. It’s going to be a challenge every single day. I want it so badly to work, and I know that in the really tough moments, I’m going to have to fight through it instead of giving up. I’ll have to admit when I’m wrong, and hold my ground when I truly believe I’m right. I have to find the right balance of being strong and holding my own, while simultaneously putting another person first and doing everything I can to support them. You can read as many books as you want, but there’s no specific answer key for your marriage. Everybody’s is different. I know the only way to learn how to make it work is just to do it.
  1. I treasure my independence. And I know you can still be independent when you get married. But it’s a very fine and difficult balance to keep, and you have to work at it every day. I think some of the strongest marriages are the ones where both people maintain their independence while still working on a strong partnership, but I worry about how difficult it will be to keep my own life while forming a new one with someone else.
  1. I’ve seen some really rough marriages. Some from people I’m related to. Some from my friends’ parents. And, of course, the celebrity marriages that are reported on incessantly, that we can’t seem to stop reading about. I’ve seen how a marriage can destroy a person, and take everything out of them. I’ve watched people turn miserable and hopeless. I’ve seen people become shells of themselves. You always think “that won’t be me” but it’s still hard knowing that it’s a possibility and it happens to real people.
  1. I want my marriage to be the main priority in my life someday, but I don’t want it to be my life. There are so many things I want to be besides a wife, and I know that I’m going to have to work very hard to make sure those things happen. I know that the only way to make a marriage work is to make sure I don’t get distracted by petty things – money and success and my home and my social status and everything all need to take a backseat to my partner. But it’s also important to me to make sure that in addition to being a wife, I’m a lot of other things: a daughter, a sister, maybe a mom, a friend, a coworker, maybe a boss, a role model, and a lot of other things that contribute to my sense of self.
  1. Getting comfortable with someone can be wonderful, but also very, very scary. They know everything about you. The passion is still there, but it doesn’t feel like this all-consuming, head-over-heels, can-barely-breathe-or-think kind of love. It’s more of a solid, dependable, deep, genuine kind of love. Which I know I want. But still, it’s scary to know that once you get married, you will never experience that falling-in-love-with-someone-new thing ever again. It’s not my story anymore. It’s our story. Which, in many ways, is exactly what I want. But after twenty-something years of telling my story, it’s an intimidating thought to know that someone else is going to be a part of it for the rest of my life.
I don’t want to screw it up. And when it comes to marriage, there is an abundance of ways you can screw it up. But here’s the deal, I’m not running away from marriage. I'm just scared. I’ve actually spent time researching, studying and preparing for it! I’ve talked to happily married couples about what goes into creating amazing, lasting, passionate, connected love.  It’s been an amazing journey. The reason I’ve done all this work and research is to better prepare myself for the love I one day hope to have. What are your fears?

Expectations, On your way down the aisle…

Love feels very good. It feels good to meet a new guy who calls you every evening, and sends a Good Morning text. You feel like showing him to every member of your circle of friends and family. It all goes well until all this attention suddenly ceases. Let's face it. An average lady wants to be called a “Mrs” and 9 of every 10 love the idea of the flowing white gown. I've had the fairytale dream for a very long time. Being a bride in my beautiful white gown in all its glory. A lot of us think like this but very few of us pay attention to the pebbles that could truncate this dream. what are the negligibles that we have to draw more attention to? Cloudy Expectations You meet this guy and after few dates, you start building a sky scrapper when he had not even done the land survey. Trust me, girl. We can sense it when you do this. We’re naturally made for responsibilities but hate it when you shove it down our throats. Enjoy the ride with this guy but be wise as not to fall victim of a playboy. cupl Paranoid feelings When he had not taken you on dates, you only called to check his well being maybe once or twice a day. Why you wan come kill him battery now nah? If you’re not asking where he is, you’re asking what he’s doing, with who and even how he’s doing it! Every man wants a woman who is secure in herself, not one who would bug them like FBI when they get married. Situation analysis “I think he likes me”. I'm sure you've heard that countless times. Babe, you shouldn’t think. Know! You’re probably thinking because he said something that sparked up something in you, then you began to analyse things that may be inconsequential at the moment. And now because you think, you will begin to be paranoid. Many ladies make the mistake of leaving their engagements for this guy they’re just seeing. That's not how to go about it. Most leave what attracted him in the first place, all in the name of spending time with the guy. A guy is programmed to be productive. So, if you’re not, you’re ruining your chances with him. Keep your hobbies, jobs, vocations or whatever it that boosts your image. Once you leave, you can’t act it for us. We know. Another set of babes act like they’re already married to the guy when he hasn’t even proposed. That’s a BIG NO! Unfortunately, many ladies treat their relationships or even dates like their lives depend on it. True, he may hold so much water in your life, his bad decisions shouldn’t water your goal in life. What do you think?    

Why you should date when you’re a “work-in-progress”

There are people who feel they need to be at their very best to be in a relationship, or that they won't be able to focus on themselves if they are in one. In fact, I'm one of such people. I always feel one has to be on a perfect state before dating anyone, but I think it's a wrong motive. Here are five reasons it is best to date somebody when you are a work-in-progress:

  1. You have a constant support network.
Being in a relationship when you are working on your goals means you have an automatic cheerleader backing you up. If you are trying to lose weight, your partner would be there to eat salad with you and to ask you how your gym session went. He or she would be there to point out the small progress points you made. Ifyou are trying to find a job, you would have someone to celebrate with you when you get an interview and drink with you when you don't get the position. If it's a good relationship, you have somebody to support you in all your endeavors and even get his or her hands dirty (job-searching, going to the gym with you, apartment searching and financial advising) to help you reach your goals. date 9
  1. You will motivate your significant other to be his or her best.
Even during those three months of friendship/benefits/talking, his desire of self-improvement encouraged l. Dating a work in progress forces you to think about your own goals and make plans to achieve them. No one wants to be the unambitious one in the relationship.  
  1. If your significant other likes you when you aren't at your best, imagine what will happen when you are. And, if you can find someone who likes you for who you are, well he must be a keeper because he sees the good in me even where you don't see it in yourself
  1. Your significant other will see you as human.
The start of relationships are always artificial. Everyone is trying to be perfect. Girls can't show up anywhere without a perfect face of makeup and an outfit he will like. Men pretend everything is all good, all the time because heaven forbid they show they have any emotions. It's a horrible game that gives the illusion that the other has his or her life together. Dating someone when you are a work in progress helps drop the pretentious act and allows you to show the real you. You can share when you have failed and since they are your biggest fans, they can help bring you back to where you should be. The point is, people see you for who you really are: human. They know you are a work in progress and you don't have to hide it. The best part is they most likely will stop playing the “I have my life together” game because you aren't playing.
  1. Nobody is ever perfect.
Saying you do not want to be in a relationship because you are focused on yourself is like saying you believe there is a point where you are good enough. There is a measurable goal that defines success in your mind. This is mindset I don't believe in general. If you get a new job, does that mean you will never strive to be better than that job? Dating and self-improvement cannot be two exclusive entities; they should work together to help create two extremely amazing people.

Young Sierra Leonean singer weds older white woman

This seems to be trending among African men not only in Nigeria but other countries as well. Congratulations are in order for this young Sierra Leonean artist, known as Blazer Blaze Joeblaze as he tied the knot with his white partner. Happy married life to them. So how important is love in a marriage? Would you marry someone even if you dont love the person? As a man would you marry a woman older than you? As a woman would you marry a man younger than you. Do share your thoughts in the comment box.

 More photos below...

Conversations You Need to Have Before Getting Married

There are some crucial topics to discuss together before the wedding—and what's okay to disagree on. Whether in premarital counseling right now, or maybe it's the last thing on your mind. Either way, you already know there are a few touchy issues engaged couples are "supposed" to talk about before making it official. Here, they map out the tough discussions to have with your soon-to-be spouse before heading down the aisle.

  1. Having and Raising Kids
If it hasn't already come up, now's the time to discuss whether you want children. But here's the surprising thing: You shouldn't stop there. Experts agreed it's important to discuss where you each stand on the issues that will come up once you start trying to have kids. And once you have kids, "How should they be disciplined when they disobey?". Issues like these can become serious disputes later on, so it's critical to discuss them now. It's okay to disagree on “How many kids you think you want right now”.  Once a couple has their first kid, they'll have a better idea of how many children they would have. _G3A8585
  1. Money and Your Careers
One of the biggest things married couples fight about, and one of the most common sources of stress and tension, is finances. Talk now to avoid arguments later. Decide whether you'll pool all your money or keep separate accounts, and determine which accounts you'll draw from for everyday expenses and for big investments. If one of you is a spender and the other is a saver, choose amounts to set aside for the future and for personal spending that you'll both be satisfied with. No one has the right answer to what your money strategy should be, you just have to live within your budget, figure out what works for you, be reasonable and communicate. On the same note, talk about your career plans. Where do you want to be in five years? How do you see your career—and your salary—evolving over your lifetime? Getting both your expectations in line with reality will minimize money-related arguments and miscommunication later in your marriage.
  1. Religion and Values
Every counseling expert brought up faith and moral values—they might not seem like a big deal now, but religion and morals play a bigger role in marriage than some couples expect. For a lot of people, fights happen when the other person turns out to be more religious than they thought. You might go into marriage not caring, but the problems start as the children arrive and you're deciding how to raise them. Talk about your faith, and how you see it affecting your shared life, right now. 47c9f39b2e8231761a6700743407f456--couples-matching-outfits-couple-outfits
  1. How You'll Handle Fights
Arguments are inevitable, —it's how couples handle them that determines whether they'll get through them. Make sure you understand each other's way of managing conflict. Think back to a recent fight: What happened? "Did one person refuse to talk, while the other couldn't sleep without resolving the issue?". Whatever your argument style is, hash out what counts as acceptable fight behavior and what's off-limits. You're going to disagree about how to run the house, chores, who cleans the bathroom. But those are the kinds of things that people can, if they work on their communication style, work through.
  1. Deal Breakers and Bucket Lists
If there's anything else you know will drive you nuts in a marriage, it's better to chat about it sooner rather than later. Let your partner know that you won't be able to tolerate it if he's always flirtatious with other women or if she blows all the money on expensive shoes. On the other hand, you should also be up front about the big life goals you're dying to accomplish. Aiming to live in another country or own your own business someday? Make sure your partner knows about that dream and is open to it. You're about to marry your partner in life, and their support will be a foundation in everything you do—and vice versa. If your partner isn't into one of your hobbies at all, you can continue to do it on your own. The key is making sure you're both okay with how much time you spend apart, which is a normal and healthy part of any relationship.

Moving on and dating after a Heartbreak

Sometime in 2015, a very close friend of mine called it quits with her boyfriend. They had been together for over three years but the relationship wasn't just working out. They kept on having quarrels, especially over trivial issues. Eventually when the relationship ended, she was devastated and heartbroken. The next month, she had a new guy. I was really surprised because I wasn't expecting her to move on so fast. Three months into the relationship, the guy called it quits again. To say she was hurt is putting it mildly. It was at that point I had to call her and let her understand that she needs a break from relationships. oXAt1IhF1_c The truth is that after you and your partner split up, you will most likely be feeling many different emotions. Most of them probably won’t be happy ones. A heartbreak is like no other pain. Some often say they truly feel their heart hurting. You might have some horrible, no good days, and then you might have moments of joy and feelings of freedom that you haven’t experienced in a while. You feel like you’re boiling over with all different thoughts and the last thing you’re thinking of is dating after a breakup. Having to start all over with another person who can potentially make you feel this horrible heartbreak feeling again? You’re probably thinking, “No thank you.” he b Dating is hard as it is, and dating after a heartbreak probably seems nearly impossible. That is why it’s important to do a couple things prior to getting out in the dating world again. You’ll want to be sure you’re ready and capable of giving and receiving love. Use some of these tips for dating after a broken heart.  

  1. Give Yourself Time
After you and your partner split, give yourself some much needed time before you move into another relationship. Even though it isn’t easy, it’s crucial that you allow yourself to grieve the previous broken partnership. You need time to heal your wounds, instead of just covering them up with someone new.
  1. Start Fresh
You are going to want to start fresh when dating a new person. Therefore, you will want to have a fresh start. You might want to throw away your ex’s memories or put them in a box far away in your closet. Maybe you don’t need to have that old shirt of your boyfriend’s anymore. Or maybe that poster your girlfriend gave you that’s hanging up is brining you some major negative energy. Make sure your environment is fresh and ready to start new. If you clean up around you, it will create more space for a potential partner.
  1. Enough Single Time
The worst thing is jumping into a relationship and feeling like you missed out on those single moments. Being single isn’t a time of unhappiness and loneliness. Instead, it’s actually a whole lot of fun. You need to get that single girl or guy time out of your system before you head into a partnership.  
  1. Check Your Baggage
Usually after a breakup, we tend to have some unresolved issues. It could be that you now have a hard time trusting others because you were cheated on. Or, it could be that you’re afraid to open up again in fear of being hurt. Whatever it may be, you need to understand that each relationship is different. You can’t carry your past relationship issues onto a future relationship. Keep the ex-baggage where it’s meant to be — in the past.  
  1. Learn To Trust Again
When headed into the world of dating, it’s important to learn how to trust again. Most people feel slighted or hurt after a relationship ends. It’s quite common for us to be weary of others and not fully open to trusting another. But, if you don’t open yourself up and trust a potential match, the relationship will go nowhere. Without trust, your putting a dead end on a future partnership.
  1. Don't Compare (Out Loud)
I know it’s hard when going from one relationship to another, but try to not compare the two partners. It’s normal to make sense of your partnership by drawing comparisons — that part is fine. However, the part I’m talking about, is you comparing your ex out loud to your future boyfriend or girlfriend. When you’re dating, be sure to keep the remarks about your ex to a minimum. No one likes to be compared, especially not on a date.
  1. Learn From The Past
The best thing about leaving a relationship is that you leave with a world full of knowledge. You know yourself better. You understand what it is you want in a significant other and what’s important for you in a partnership. You’re especially aware of the qualities you don’t want in a future partner. Take this wealth of knowledge and use it when getting back in the dating game. It will sure be a great advantage for you. After a rough breakup people, “I will never fall in love with anybody ever again,” or “I will never find another person.” Even though at times you may be feeling this, it’s vital to not let one past relationship take power over your entire future of love. What’s truly courageous is to love again even if you’ve been hurt previously. It shows strength to be vulnerable and to be open.

When age and distance is not a barrier to love

A British granny of six is devastated following her Nigerian husband's inability to secure a visa to the UK after being denied for the third time. 72-year-old Angela Nwachukwu from Dorchester in Dorset, met CJ Nwachukwu, 27, on Facebook after he added her. They got engaged on Skype and when she visited him for the first time they ended up tying the knot.

  According to the grand mother of six who has sons aged 50, 47 and 43, she said since they got married she has spent £20,000 visiting him and trying to get him into the UK but their marriage is solid despite the 4,000 miles between them.  “CJ is the most caring man any woman could want to be with. He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I know in my heart we belong together and we won’t stop fighting until we can be together as husband and wife. We won’t let this break us.'' “After the wedding, I found it hard leaving CJ. I knew I’d see him again soon but my family visa application was rejected. “I was so determined to get him a visa I hired lawyers to fight for us. I’ve since visited him twice. "We’ve spent a combined £20,000 trying to see each other. I’ve used my savings and he has gradually paid me back half.” Angela had been single and lonely for six months following a 16-year relationship but found happiness again when she was contacted by CJ. “After my relationship ended, I felt lonely. We had become more like friends than partners so we had decided to split. “After being single for six months, I saw a gorgeous young man had sent me a friend request on Facebook. “I did wonder why he had added me but I accepted and he sent me a message telling me how lovely my profile photo was. “He was so handsome, with big, brown eyes and a body to match. I didn’t see the harm in striking up a conversation with him. “We chatted for hours about our families and hobbies. It was like we’d known each other for years. Before I knew it, we were messaging daily. “The only problem was he was 45 years younger and lived 4,000 miles away in Nigeria.” But Angela said she couldn't resist falling for the computer engineer, who lives in the city of Owerri, when things started going well for them. “Despite our huge age gap, we got on really well. I couldn’t help it and began to develop feelings for him. I tried to stop myself. "He was six years younger than my oldest grandchild. But I couldn’t help falling for him. “When I first told my son Malcolm about CJ, he was worried it might be a scam, so he checked him out online. “After seeing how squeaky-clean his social media was, he felt he was genuine. They could all see how happy I was. “We started chatting on Skype and I’d get butterflies when I saw his face on the computer. After a few weeks, CJ told me he had feelings for me. I was so happy.” A month after they started messaging in February 2015, CJ popped the question over Skype and Angela accepted him. “I was so taken aback when he asked me to marry him. I thought he was joking. But he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. “Of course, I said yes. He was beaming at me with such a big smile on his face. Knowing I made him that happy was all the reassurance I needed. There was such an amazing chemistry between us.” Preparing for the big day, Angela planned a trip to Nigeria, bought a stunning blue dress for the wedding ceremony, which CJ had arranged for the following month. She says: “CJ had planned the whole day and had bought us both wedding rings. Sadly, none of my family could make it as it was such short notice. But I felt happy to have their blessings. “The six-hour plane journey felt like a lifetime. I was worried CJ might not like me in person. But the moment I saw him waiting for me I knew I’d made the right decision. I gave him a hug and he kissed me. “We’d originally planned to wait until the wedding night to consummate our relationship but we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. CJ was so loving and passionate.” “CJ had planned the whole day and had bought us both wedding rings. Sadly, none of my family could make it as it was such short notice. But I felt happy to have their blessings. “The six-hour plane journey felt like a lifetime. I was worried CJ might not like me in person. But the moment I saw him waiting for me I knew I’d made the right decision. I gave him a hug and he kissed me. “We’d originally planned to wait until the wedding night to consummate our relationship but we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. CJ was so loving and passionate.” In April 2015, Angela and CJ tied the knot in front of his friends and family at a register office in Lagos. Speaking about their perfect wedding, she says “The ceremony was so beautiful and CJ had organised it all perfectly. It was the happiest day of my life. “I felt so lucky — but it was bittersweet because I knew I had to go back to England. The two weeks I was there flew by.” On CJ's visa setbacks, Angela said she was disappointed when her visa application for CJ was rejected. “The Visa was rejected because officials didn’t think we had financial backing, as I was retired. "Over the following months, I tried again and again to appeal the decision. It broke my heart every time it was denied. He wasn’t even allowed to visit me on a tourist visa. “I’d waited so long for true love — and now I’d finally found it, it was being kept from me.” She adds: “I know there are scam marriages and they get hold of older people like me. But they find out if you have money first. “I told CJ from the beginning I haven’t any money. But he told me, ‘It’s you I want’. “I know it goes on and that’s why I was so upfront. I have helped CJ financially but he has always paid me back.” Since marrying, Angela has visited her husband in Nigeria twice, once in March 2016 for three weeks and once in January 2017 for three weeks. Now, the 72-year-old says their next plan is for CJ to come to the UK on a student visa to enable him study his Masters in computing. “Our only hope now is that CJ will be allowed to come next year on a student visa to study his Masters in computing. “I’m hoping to go to Africa later this year to visit him and I’m counting down the days until I can see him again.” See more photos of the couple below..

Battling Loneliness in a Single Mum Life

It’s been another full day of school, errands, cooking dinner, and baths. With younger kids in bed and older kids studying in their rooms, the house is finally quiet. Single mothers appreciate the quiet evenings when they can think on their  own thoughts and work uninterrupted. But the quiet is also a stark reminder of how alone they are. I know a couple of single mums and it's obvious they're lonely. For single mums, loneliness is a painful reality, even in a houseful of kids, even when dating has begun again. Are you a lonely single mum? Here are ways to battle loneliness as a single mum

  1. Cultivate deep friendships
Loneliness happens when there’s no one to share life with – to talk through the questions or the ups and downs of our days. Nourishing deep friendships can curb loneliness as we have people in our life who know us, who get us, and who love us. s mum
  1. Temper time on social media
Spending too much time on social media might distract you from loneliness but it won’t eliminate it and could actually worsen it. The constant barrage of vacation pictures and life celebrations can leave you feeling left out and even more alone. Better to tame the time you spend on social media.    
  1. Pursue your Passions
Admittedly, it’s tough to find time as a single mum, but carving out time for hobbies and interests can bring deep satisfaction with an added bonus of connection to new groups and people who share your interests.
  1. Don’t believe the lies at night
This one is huge because loneliness is often hardest at night and can quickly escalate to despair. If nighttime is a particular struggle, go to bed early and get up with the sun. Mornings usually bring clarity and hope. 20141030150103-10-single-mom-entrepreneurs-share-their-best-business-advice-angela-benton-1
  1. Secure your self-care
Good self-care can make all our emotions more manageable, including loneliness. Take advantage of alone time to indulge in a bath with a favorite book or re-watch a favorite movie. No matter how busy you get or how many friends you have, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to fully eliminate loneliness as long as you’re single. But even that can be used for good.   Understanding what loneliness feels like can help you become more compassionate and reach out to others who are hurting.

Lady calls off wedding plans after introduction

There is nothing new under the sun, so many times we hear of young people call of weddings, or dont show up on their wedding days for various reasons.

Marriage is a life term commitment and its l better not to  go into it if not sure even after you have gone through an introduction or engagement ceremony.

The story of a lady who called off her wedding plans has been trending.

Okibe Olivia who posted photos from her introduction ceremony, has shed more light about her marriage break up with hopes that it will help women learn from her mistake.

According to Olivia she agreed to marry Malaysia-based Augustine Emeka AKA Emoney, due to poverty. After the introduction ceremony, she realised that she made a terrible mistake as she suffered depression for three and half months (from February to May 2017).

Read her post below..

 Who doesn't know us ?

I flaunted him up and down , I loved him with my heart and was ready to be the best wife ever to my man , only to find out ten thousand reasons why I should decamp . No matter the money thrown on me. See, yes I fell for him and started loving him though with some doubts in me , but the power of money is something else ,chai God punish poverty I swear. I want to apologize to thousands of my close friends that wrote me privately, publicly and through calls so that I can pull my post down and die the story . But I said noooooooooo And when I say noooo, I mean real noooooo My mind is made up , to share the story from the beginning to the end with nothing but sincerity of heart. I rather die sharing the whole story than die as a coward with the story untold . Before I took this bold step , I ve analyzed it very well and I know I can do or handle whatever that comes out of it because am equal to task and I got a lot of backups . Now listen , Am not sharing my story to Pain anybody ; neither am I revenging him , nooooooo. Never; revenge is of God and not mine. Even if I had decided to revenge physically, my retaliation won't be half of the damage he caused me in life except I killed him and payed with his life but because I didn't create him , I have no right to take his life . So I left revenge for God that delivered me from the Lion's Den. I suffered depression for 3months plus half a month (from February to May 2017) but am free now , completely free . If not , I wouldn't be proud saying my story . My reason of writing out my ugly experience with the Malaysian based guy hustler is because of other girls, a lot of girls are falling victim on daily basis . Hear/ read my story , learn your lessons and be wise . After you are done with my story and you didn't receive sense then I bet you , Holyghost fire needs to fall on you . Meanwhile, am not pained oooooh; neither do I want him back , Never So , please don't get it twisted . Don't forget I was the one that walked away ...... I want to save some girls from some shits .

Conversations to Have with Your Future Mother-in-Law

As a woman, you must have been dreaming of the moment you'll officially become Mr. and Mrs.? But before you get to that big announcement, it's important to take a moment to acknowledge the original Mrs.—your soon-to-be husband's mother. Marrying the love of your life also means you're joining another family, which comes with its own set of dramas, disagreements, and circumstances. Being in the good graces of your mother-in-law and making sure she understands and respects your perspective will help keep tensions low. Before you say "I do," set aside time for these important conversations out of the way. The one where you thank her. For what, you ask? For bringing your husband into the world! You want to make sure she knows how thankful you are that she raised a wonderful man. Making her feel appreciated and loved will help her warm up to you (if she isn't already!), allowing room for your friendship to blossom. Starting off on the foot of gratitude is not only respectful toward the woman who raised your spouse-to-be, but it's a kind gesture that definitely won't go unnoticed. moth in law The one about how she envisions the future. Just like you've dreamt about your wedding day since you were a little girl, she has had visions of her son's future wife and family for decades, too. The only issue is that sometimes your ideas for how you'll raise your family won't match up with hers. To get on the same page, suggest "clearing the air" and asking her opinion. See how involved she sees herself being in your lives, how often she plans to see you, how she will be able to shift from taking care of her child to her child being married and having a partner to help with their needs. Some mothers may struggle with letting go, but if you reassure her that her son's happiness is your top priority, she will be more likely to loosen the heartstrings. The one about ground rules If you feel uncomfortable approaching this topic, consider asking your partner to join in on the discussion, especially she has already been crossing the line. It's good to set boundaries, like asking her to call before coming by. Setting these standards is an essential framework for years to come, and will avoid animosity and frustration with the potential issues that not having these conversations will create. The one where you ask her advice Who knows your partner nearly as well as you do? His mother, so asking for her candid advice on how to handle her son will help strengthen your bond. A lot of men go straight from their childhood home, university life, or a bachelor situation to living with their wife. They may need some time to adjust to these new responsibilities. Understanding the quirks of your partner, straight from the mom who raised him, is helpful. Making this shift can be tough, and to help them become the adult they can be, you need the support of your mother-in-law.